4/30/2010

The Bat Signal's Been Answered! WB Announces BATMAN 3 Release Date!

Just a couple of days ago, Warner Brothers and IMAX inked a deal have as many as 20 of the studio's tentpole films released in the expansive format. The press release pushed that it was to last until 2013, with the most notable film on the list being Batman 3. Speculation shot off almost immediately, with most analysts suggesting a summer 2012 or 2013 release date.

Today Warner Brothers decided to shut everybody up for the moment by announcing through an internal email that Batman 3 will indeed hit theaters in the summer of 2012, specifically July 20 2012.

That date puts it right in the thick of an already jam packed summer, as it follows just a few short weeks after the Marc Webb helmed Spider-Man reboot(July 3rd) and The Avengers(May 4th).  That's only just the comic book competition. Don't forget JJ Abrams' Star Trek sequel is set for around that same timeframe, likely to hit in late June.

Still no confirmation of Christopher Nolan's return to direct the project. The script is currently in the hands of his younger brother, Jonathan, based on an idea from David Goyer. Goyer is also in charge of the upcoming Superman relaunch, which Christopher Nolan will be overseeing.

The New Wave: 4/30/10

So The List has undergone a name change as its focus shifts a little bit. Where it started out as me basically drawing attention to my lack of a social life by listing every single movie I planned on seeing that week, circumstances have slowly forced it to evolve into a quick glimpse at the new releases and in most cases a brief blurb about what I think of it's prospects. I'll still be listing these broken down into the big releases and surest bets, down to what shouldn't be touched with a 100-ft. pole. And as always I'll focus on the films that can be seen somewhere in the DC metro area. No point getting everybody excited over something that ain't ever hittin' our fair city.


I'm gonna have a hard time believing any other documentary this year will be as cool or as inventive as this. Gift Shop takes us on a wild journey of artisic discovery alongside buffoonish filmmaker, Thierry Guetta, who tags along with mysterious street artists as they ply their trade in secret. But it's not until the world renowned Banksy enters the picture and takes over that the crap really starts hitting the fan, and the line between what is real and what's all an elaborate ruse start to blur. Run out and see this. Now. You can read my review right here.

Heaven help you guys this week if this is near the top of my list. It's just not a good time to be a movie fan in the Nation's Capital right now. As horror remakes go, director Samuel Bayer's take on the clawed dreamstalker ranks somewhere between The Amityville Horror and Friday the 13th. It's not offensively terrible the way Amityville was, but it's not gonna scratch your itch for a good fright either. I'll leave the comparing of Jackie Earle Hayley to Robert Englund to those better suited to judge. Ok, I'm lying, I want Englund back. Now. You can read my review here.


On sheer premise alone, The Girl on the Train has my undivided attention. Supposedly based on a true story about a French girl who lies about being the victim of anti-Semitic attack. Her honesty isn't in question, the real mystery is why. Looks like an intriguing character study from famed French director, Andre Techine(Wild Reeds), who has a knack for unflinching socal commentaries.

If there's time....


A smash hit from the makers of last year's amazing crime film, Gomorrah, Mid-August Lunch is the story of a middle aged man forced to be the entertainment for his elderly mother and her feisty friends. Gomorrah screenwriter Gianni di Gregorio pulls triple duty as writer, director, and star. I have a tendency to not totally buy into the quirkiness of Italian cinema, so this one's a maybe. Plus they always make me hungry. Too much darn food on screen all the time.


A broad, political film about five women who's lives are changed during the CIA backed coup to throw the Iranian government. Helmed by acclaimed visual artist, Shirin Neshat, she no doubt is bringing some of her own experiences to the table having grown up in Tehran in the 1960s. Those inclined to check this out might want to take a look at the phenomenal 2007 film, Persepolis, which covers a lot of the same territory.

No....just no...!!!


Let's talk about a fall from grace, shall we?  I'm not talking about Brendan Fraser, who has toiled in these lowbrow areas before. I'm talking director Roger Kumble, who burst onto the scene back in 1999 with Cruel Intentions and then it's funnier follow-up, Cruel Intentions 2. Since then he's made some of the most foul dreck of the decade, including chick-centric The Sweetest Thing, which has the distinction of being one of  a handful of movies so distasteful that I left early to beat traffic to a dentist appointment. Everything you need to know about how crappy this thing is going to be is staring at you right there in the film's poster. Expect plenty of Fraser's goofy bugged out expressions(his comedy crutch), dancing animals, and a heavy handed lesson about wildlife protection or something. Go plant a tree, or fix an injured bird's wing or something. Do anything but see this.

Harry Brown

Harry Brown starts off with a shot. A gang initiation in the grimy subway tunnels of a London slum goes terribly wrong. Bullets fly, cars speed away in a frantic getaway attempt. When all is said and done, the gang lays sprawled out on the road after an accident, and an innocent mother lay dead.

Harry(Michael Caine) wakes up to this news, but it's the least of his concerns. His wife is in the hospital, dying. He spends the bulk of his days there by her bedside, hoping she can still recognize his presence. A former Royal Marine, Harry's used to having people die around him, but now he's running out of people to care about or who care about him. His best friend, Leonard, is a fellow retiree caught in a grip of fear. The local thugs terrorize him daily, putting dog crap on his doorstep and in his mailbox. Harry urges calling the police, but Leonard admits that he's already done that. The cops either can't do anything or don't care. Leonard vows to stand up for himself the next time. It doesn't end well.

Faced with being truly alone for the first time, Harry quickly loses himself. What had been a sad, pitiful old man resigned to keeping his head down while the world turned to crap around him, he's now found purpose. Interviewed by the sexy Detective Frampton(Emily Mortimer) after Leonard's funeral, he can scarcely contain his anger at their flat footededness. Later that night after a drunken binge, Harry is attacked by one of the town thugs, and his old army muscle memory comes roaring back. A vigilante is born.

Harry Brown isn't quite Gran Torino. In that film, you sorta expected Clint Eastwood to grab his shotgun off the rack and start blasting holes in people. His age didn't mattter. With Michael Caine it takes a little bit of time to get reacquainted with the idea of him offing people 1/4th his age. He's become such a soft-hearted soul on screen that I think we just sorta expect him to shrug everything off and whistle a happy tune. It's for exactly that reason that Caine is so good here. He doesn't try to overplay it. He doesn't turn Harry into a violent force of nature. He plays the character as an older man relying on cunning and what he remembers being able to do as a young soldier. You can see the gears working in his brain, especially during a frightening scene in which Harry walks right into the heart of the enemy's den, a filthy criminal workshop that has become the heart of everything gone wrong in his neighborhood.

First time director Daniel Barber employs a slow, deliberate pace throughout. It's not a style that lends itself to what is basically a revenge thriller, but it works thanks mostly to Caine's subtle performance. There's been an uptick in movies about older men with violent pasts, finding their inner warrior when the world around them has been threatened. The aforementioned Gran Torino comes to mind along with last year's Taken. Harry Brown combines the elements of both of those, but gets a lot more help in the credibility department thanks to the strong supporting cast. Mortimer is particularly good as the buttoned up detective who knows there's more to this seemingly harmless old man than meets the eye.

There's a deeper subtext involving police corruption and political manueverings that allow a vigilante like Harry Brown to exist and thrive, but all that stuff is just window dressing. It's Caine and Mortimer who push what could've been a standard thriller into a thought provoking, emotional thrill.


First Look: Thor in costume


Here you have it ladies and gentlemen, our first look at Norse God Thor as portrayed by Chris Hemsworth in full costume! I know, I know, it's not exactly a full look but you can get a good idea of how it will look on the big screen. I'm digging the costume but there's something about Hemsworth that just seems off. I mean, he's got the blonde hair and full beard, it just seems like Thor should have a more square jaw than Helmsworth does. Thor's not like Batman where he could be played by someone smaller, more trim, he should be a hulking behemoth of an individual. Still, it's not a full shot and kind  of a weird angle so I'll reserve full judgement until I see some more shots of him on set. I just can't wait to see how they play this one, it's going to be really hard to put his story live action on a 40ft screen and not have it come off cheesy. What do you think?

JONAH HEX Trailer

We should've put this up yesterday, but honestly I'm finding it hard to get excited over it. We saw the trailer a couple of days ago ahead of A Nightmare on Elm Street, and while it was clearly the best part of the evening since Nightmare sucked hard, something about Jonah Hex is rubbing me the wrong way. It's not Josh Brolin, who I think has the look and manner of Hex down pat. Megan Fox seems to be playing the same character she always plays, coy and seductive, and even though she's hot she's just plain awful at trying to be sexy.

No, it's something else. Hex just looks...uninspired. The trailer's score doesn't get the blood pumping, the "catchy" quips weren't impressive, and I don't know what the heck that crap was with Hex bringing some guy back to life? What the hell? That wasn't in any Jonah Hex comic I ever read, not that I read many.

It's only the first full trailer, which is usually the weakest of the bunch. I'll have a firmer judgement in the coming weeks.



Jonah Hex stars Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, and Michael Fassbender and is set to be released on June 18, 2010.

INCOGNITO Finds a Home at FOX

Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillip's Eisner nominated comic book series, Incognito, has been snapped up by 20th Century Fox, with plans to bring it to the big screen. Fox has already brought in Pulitzer prize winning writer, Robert Schenkkan, to pen the script.

The series, which ran for six issues from 2008-2009, features a former supervillain named Zack Overkill. Now in the Witness Protection Program after ratting out his boss, Zack is given a drug to suppress his powers. Bored with his daily life, he begins taking illegal street drugs which force his powers to emerge, and he resumes his costumed career this time as a vigilante rather than a villain.

The story is a bit of a curveball from the usual tale of "good cop goes bad", in this case it's sorta the polar opposite, as Zack has spent so much time among normals that he wants to fight to protect them.

Good deal. I'm a huge fan of pretty much anything Ed Brubaker has ever written, and I'm happy to see him getting some Hollywood love.

4/29/2010

Coming Soon: Sean Bean in BLACK DEATH


I've only been fortunate enough to catch one film from director Christopher Smith, his 2006 workplace dark comedy, Severance. While I wasn't a big fan of it(except for the smokin' hot Laura Harris), it was hard not to get into the insane gore perpetrated by a bunch of fed up workin' stiffs. Kinda makes me wonder what Smith will do when set in a time where everybody's carrying a sword, an axe, or a really screwed up mace.

Smith's next project is the Sean Bean starring Black Death, which takes us into one effed up quest set in medieval times. Based off the trailer, Bean is definitely channeling his character from The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but this time he gets to take center stage. That in itself is enough to sell me, as he's one of the few actors I can always count on to rise above the material. The film's other star, Eddie Redmayne, was my least favorite aspect of The Yellow Handkerchief last month, but he was swamped by too many good actors that made him stick out like a sore thumb.

This one looks like it could get pretty messy. Check out the trailer, followed by the film synopsis, and as always let us know what you think!



 SYNOPSIS
"In a plague-ridden medieval England, Osmund (Eddie Redmayne), a young monk, is charged in leading the fearsome knight Ulrich (Sean Bean), and his group of mercenaries to a remote village where the inhabitants are unaffected by the deadly pestilence. Their quest is to hunt down a necromancer - someone able to bring the dead back to life.

Their journey is long and brutal; encountering deadly bandits, vicious witch-burnings and their own impeding sense of doom. Though it's upon entering the village that their true horror begins..."

A Nightmare on Elm Street

The last time I saw Freddy Krueger, he was busy executing jumpkicks so bad they'd make Ralph Macchio blush. I'm talking of course about 2003's Freddy vs. Jason, which pitted the iconic dream killer against fellow slasher staple, Jason Voorhees.  Originally presented as a child murderer, Platinum Dunes' turtle paced Elm Street remake envisions him in the way Wes Craven intended, as a child molester with a gruesome backstory. Yet discovering Freddy's origins and giving him a real motivation isn't nearly enough to make this anything more than just another bland Michael Bay horror retread.

A small diner that either can't afford light bulbs or specializes in pancakes under mood lighting is where the story opens. Some guy who looks vaguely like somebody out of Twilight can't sleep.He's clearly been up for days. He can sleep, he just doesn't want to.  A few seats away, other all too pretty teens are fussing about something. Suddenly the first guy freaks out, and seemingly offs himself with a kitchen knife. What's worse, he forgot to leave a tip.

Soon, more kids start complaining about their sleep patterns, or lack thereof. A mysterious, clawed figure in an ugly striped sweater that looks like it was ripped from the Marshall's catalogue has been stalking their dreams. But who is he? Why has he chosen them? Do they all share some sort of unknown connection? All they know is that if he kills you in your sleep, you die for real.

As more people begin to fall under Freddy's assault, a disturbing conspiracy is revealed. One that encompasses nearly the entire town. It's here that we're treated to Krueger's fiery beginnings, and arguably the film's one saving grace. One of the reasons Krueger worked so well in the first few Nightmare movies was that he was the worst possible type of offender, a killer of the innocent. You have to remember that at the time of it's release, America was in the grips of a pedophilia fear frenzy, with accusations being hurled about seemingly every other day. To have a character that essentially fed off the pain of children was horrifying and fed into people's paranoia.

The revelation of Krueger's origin also throws an ambiguous moral twist into what had been a straight forward slasher up to that point. Was Freddy truly guilty? Are his actions justified in some strange way? Is he merely seeking just retribution? This question lingers for about twenty minutes or so, and it's the best part of the film. Then it's summarily tossed aside and I was back to nodding off again.

That's the biggest problem. Nightmare is just boring. I don't consider myself a horror aficianado by an stretch, but I do know that the goal usually isn't to have me wondering about the story's minute details. For instance, one thing I thought of was that the usage of Google and other search engines in movies is presented very stupidly. Nobody has to actually dig for clues anymore. They can just type in some poor schmuck's name and "wallah!", they can find out everything necessary to push the plot along. That's how bored I was that I focused on that.

It wasn't going to be the actors that kept my attention. Not even Jackie Earle Hayley, who's big comeback was playing a pedophile in the amazing 2006 film Little Children could put his stamp on this thing. It's not totally his fault. The script lets him down on a number of occasions. Freddy doesnt do anything distinguishable for the better part of the film, which is pretty bad since the rest of the cast might as well be cigar store Indians. I have no idea who they are or why I should care about them. There's an attempt in the final act to channel a bit of the humor that ruined Krueger in the latter Elm Street features, but by then it was too late.

One of the things I've given Platinum Dunes credit for, even when their movies stink, is that the overall presentation and artistic direction is inspired. Director Samuel Bayer doesn't really do much to stretch beyond the visual scope of the original, but his approach is solid. A couple of the more special effects heavy scenes work really well, in particular one where Freddy morphs from out of a walll to kill one of his victims. There's nothing scary in this picture, though. For a horror, that's a fatal claw to the heart.

A Nightmare on Elm Street for me has always been about premise. There's no scarier thing than a terror that can haunt us in our sleep, when we're at our most vulnerable. It was this idea and the execution of it that made the original Nightmare work. Freddy was terrifying in what he represented moreso than anything he actually did. This version tries hard to capture that same fear element, but Freddy's revival is less like a razor sharp glove and more like a dull butterknife.

Exit Through the Gift Shop


See if you can follow me here, okay? We've got a documentary which may or may not actually be a documentary about mysterious street artist who's being followed and filmed by an amateur filmmaker making a documentary which may or may not actually exist. Say wha? Sounds like something wild Charlie Kaufman would've dreamt up. No, it's the crazy(like a fox?) machinations of secretive underground artist Banksy who's pulling the strings and quite possibly our legs. Whether we're being pranked or not I can't say, nor do I care, because Gift Shop is easily the funniest, most inventive documentary I've seen in ages.

It all starts off simple before everything goes all Wile E. Coyote. Thierry Guetta is a French clothing shop owner in Los Angeles. His English is comedically awful, he sports a thick mop of hair and a set of muttonchops that put Wolverine to shame. He's something of a mix of Vincent Gallo and Pepe Le Pew. Thierry's never without his video camera, and eventually stumbles into the world of street art. Or graffiti art, "tagging", whatever you wanna call it. Thierry is infatuated with it, becoming fast friends with a number of the world's leading artists, including Shepard Fairey, the man behind the famous Obama "Hope" image we've all come to recognize.

Thierry is so caught up with his new fascination that he ignores his family and his successful business. He spends all his time taping these mysterious, secretive figures, most of whom hide their faces behind elaborate masks and sport codenames like Swoon and Space Invader. Why the heck would any of them agree to be video taped by this guy? Easy enough. He promises them all that he's putting together a film, a storehouse of ideas promising to showcase to the world the true artistry behind their craft. Thierry's obsession leads home around the world, but one thing continues to elude him.

Enter Banksy, the mysterious, voice-altered virtuoso of the art world. Meeting Thierry almost by accident, he doesn't exactly take a liking to the goofy but well meaning filmmaker. It's more like he puts up with his presence. Eventually, even Banksy starts to warm up to the idea of having his exploits archived for posterity. There was just one little wrinkle in that idea: Thierry wasn't making a movie at all. All that footage he'd shot? In boxes strewn around his floor, and nobody but him knew it.

It isn't long before the natives started getting restless, demanding to see a finished product, which results in a film so heinous the crew at Mystery Science Theater would go mind numb trying to crack jokes about it. Frustrated, Banksy demands Thierry hang up his camera and become an artist himself...and it's that seemingly innocent idea that blows up the street art world forever.

Gift Shop is essentially two totally different movies. The energetic first half has us following these shrouded figures as they make their clandestine statements throughout various cities, hurdling fences and climbing seemingly unreachable peaks just for the chance to make their presence known. These sequences are simply awesome to watch unfold. It makes you feel like you're being let in on some little secret that nobody else can ever know about.

Then the second half happens, and while I don't want to say this is where it falters, the film makes a sharp turn. Where we were caught up in the glorification and the discovery of the art form, now as Thierry ventures into his own career the doc starts taking a scalpel to some of our notions as to what an artist truly is. Thierry begins to craft his own image as Mr. Brainwash, a copycat no talent with little to say or offer in his work. The fact that he becomes a monumental success? Well, let's just say it doesn't exactly sit well with his peers.

The common thread through the entire film is Banksy, who narrates in short often biting commentaries about Thierry's annoying presence. The only thing that seems to bug him more is the herd mentality of the people who begin fawning over his work because of how "cool" and "hip" it is. It doesn't take long before Banksy's art is sold in art shows for hundreds of thousands of dollars. You can tell he's uncomfortable by this entire notion. Even as he speaks, he shifts noticably in his chair. This is all supposed to be about the art, right? The message?

Or is it? I get the distinct impression we were all being fooled from jumpstreet, and that this is nothing but an elaborate gag. To every artist, in particular graf artists, there's that little part of them that wants to play teacher. They want to show us something, usually about ourselves. Otherwise why go out of their way, risking jail and in cases physical harm to make their messages visible? It's possible that Banksy is trying to prove to us the idiocy of celebrity in the art world, and the creation of Mr. Brainwash was all a part of that. 'Gift Shop' is like the fuel to his fire.

I wrote down one Banksy quote that stuck with me while watching this, and I think it captures the tone and the entire point of the film...

"Maybe it means art is a bit of a joke"


Remember that ANCHORMAN 2 Thing? Forget it...


It was just two days ago that Adam McKay expressed some level of confidence that a sequel Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy would be getting underway sooner rather than later. They were just waiting on Paramount to pony up the loot, which seemed like a no-brainer considering the film's popularity. Well, I guess we're all gonna get fitted for frontal lobotomies today as the director confirmed  via his Twitter feed that Paramount has driven a stake through it's heart, officially passing on the sequel.


This comes as a huge shock. Apparently Paramount didn't see any profit potential in the follow-up, which is surprising since most sequels tend to do better than their predecessors, especially on cult favorite films like Anchorman. The cast has only become more popular...ok, except for maybe Will Ferrell, in the time since the film's release back in 2004. 

Coming Soon: 2:22



Without question one of the coolest styles of film is crime noir, simple fact. Dark shadows, crime, dizzy dames, guns, money and drugs (or in the earlier days booze), that's what crime noir's all about and it look's like this new flick from Phillip Guzman knows that. 2:22 is a film about a heist gone wrong. Here's the official synopsis from the 2:22 website:

The Plan was simple...the job was not. When a tight crew of four thieves decide to take down a boutique hotel in the dead of winter things go horribly wrong.

Unsuspecting hotel guests unwittingly play a part in this tangled web. Unusual lives and hard choices intertwine, twisting the scheme to the point of no return. Loyalty, love, friendship and honor are brought to a boil in this graphic crime thriller.

Rooted in reality 2:22 draws its style from the classic French film Rififi with the story telling of Dog Day Afternoon.

Right now the theatrical release is set only for West Hollywood on June 18th, but hopefully it will get a wider release or become available on DVD/Blu-ray (by the way, watch the trailer in Hi-Def they have a great cinematographer and the quality is amazing!). Keep yourself updated with info on 2:22 by checking back with us or you can check out the film's official site here.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Review




                1…2…Freddy’s coming for you! But the question is do you want him to? A complete reimagining of the original New Line classic, there’s not much that you will recognize from the original other than the dream master himself and a much different Nancy. The film opens on Dean, a teen in the middle of a serious caffeine binge, at the Springwood Diner, a hangout for the local teens. Dean’s sleep deprivation is obvious with dark bags under his eyes and a blank stare at everything around him. Succumbing to his body’s need for sleep, Dean drifts from our world to a nightmare world where the Commander-in-Chief is a horribly burned monster with knives for fingers. Just in the nick of time Dean’s girlfriend, Kris (Katie Cassidy), shows up to find out what’s been wrong with him. She’s just in time…just in time that is for Kris to witness the end of Dean’s nightmare and the beginning of hers as Dean seemingly slits his own throat screaming his last words “You’re NOT REAL!” This reminds Kris of her own nightmare and with a little bit of investigation she and Dean aren’t the only ones having these nightmares. The race is now on for Kris and her schoolmates Nancy, Jesse, and Quentin to find out who this burned monster is before they fall asleep and never wake up again.

                It’s hard, I mean really really hard to separate these reimagining’s from their originators. To give you an honest fair review I have to forget the original completely and base this film on its own merits. This film on its own does a great job of establishing the lore of Freddy Kruger even if it takes quite a while to get there. Freddy’s back story is seen through a series of nightmare flashbacks experienced by Nancy and Quentin. This proves an effective and unobtrusive way to tell you the necessary details. It really flows well with the rest of the movie. Let’s be honest, we go to horror movies to see the gruesome kills and man does this movie have some nasty moments. The first kill of the film is by far the best and one of the most cringe inducing that I have seen in quite some time. From here the blood flows like water with slashes, cuts, lacerations and impalements exerted upon the teens of Springfield, Ohio. The recreation of the classic Tina kill scene where a girl is lifted off her bed and flung around the room while being sliced by Krueger is sure to leave you wide eyed with a gaping mouth and is arguably the one point where this movie surpasses the original. Another cool aspect of the kills in this flick is the way they show either the dream world or the real world when Freddy’s attacking. Instead of showing you Freddy attacking and then the victim’s reaction in the real world and then back again, they choose to show you one or the other. This leaves you with less dream world action but a more finished feel. Unfortunately, much of this film is flawed and potential wasted.

                First off, the pacing of the movie is horribly uneven. It starts off with a bang then slows to a crawl then revs up just fast enough to slow down again before you feel satisfied. You never get fully immersed in the dream world and therefore never really get a feel for what’s terrorizing the kids. Speaking of what’s terrorizing the kids…let’s talk Freddy. NO ONE can play Freddy like Robert Englund, not even an Oscar winner, which has been proven by this film. Jackie Earle Hayley adds a few cool tics to the iconic character but other than that the portrayal falls flat on its horribly disfigured face. I don’t know that Hayley is to blame for this though because the areas that really ruin the character would have been out of his hands. Mainly it’s the look. They went for a more realistic burn victim look, searing the ears to the sides of the head and removing the nose almost completely. It ends up taking all of the personality and humanity out of a figure that thrived on such things. That was the difference between Freddy and the rest of the horror icons, he had style, he had flair, and this version…does not. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, they decided that the practical effects weren’t enough and added some CGI to the face, making him look more cartoonish than anything in some scenes. Besides the fedora and striped sweater the other thing people think of when they think Krueger is the voice, and they somehow managed to screw that up as well. Not only does Hayley use a voice that’s a mix between his Rorschach character from Watchmen and Christian Bale’s Batman but they gave his dialogue a voice over quality. I can see what they were going for by doing this, making it sound more dream-like, but the result is something that takes away from the fear of the scene. Also depleting the fear factor of the movie is the lack of any kind of emotional attachment to the characters. Kris’ storyline is the only one that leaves you giving a crap. Nancy, one of the most iconic horror heroines next to only Laurie Strode of the Halloween series, is reduced to a semi-gothic artsy type who inspires little emotion in the viewer.

                As much as it seriously pains me to say so, you should probably skip A Nightmare on Elm Street. If you are looking for a scare and this storyline is up your alley I can highly recommend the original. I know I started this review by saying that I was going to separate the two but I can’t, sorry. The first one’s just too good and this one just sucks that bad. Devoid of fright, this flick is not worth your time and certainly not your hard earned dollar. Platinum Dunes has done a good job with the remakes up until this point with Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre but the streak stops there. Perhaps one late night when you’re feeling especially tired and this flick is on cable, (pay cable not free…let’s not lose the good stuff), maybe you should check it out…just don’t go out of your way to do so.

2 Out of 5 Guttenbergs


Pee-Wee's Big Smurfin' Adventure

Say what you want about Pee-Wee Herman, the guy is a friggin' icon. So what if he got caught jerkin' his gerkin' in public? It was at a porno theater, right? Not that I would know from experience or anything but I just kinda assumed everybody did that.  Before I dig myself any deeper, let me just get to the point, and that is that Pee Wee will be voicing Jokey Smurf in the upcoming Smurfs movie. If you'll recall Jokey was the prankster who always gave away exploding gift boxes to his gullible fellow Smurfs. No word on if Pee Wee will be implementing a "word of the day" into the film's script.

Director Raja Gusnell has corralled an impressive list of talent for the combination live-action/computer animated feature: Katy Perry as Smurfette, Alan Cumming(who I always thought reminded me of Pee Wee) as Gutsy Smurf, George Lopez as Grouchy Smurf, and Anton Yelchin as Clumsy. That's in addition to Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, and Hank Azaria as the humans who become mixed up in the Smurfs' world.

The Smurfs is due to smurf theaters on August 3, 2011.

BATMAN 3, SUPERMAN, THE HOBBIT Update

Quickly, because I find press releases boring and generally unreliable especially when announcing long term plans, Warner Brothers and IMAX have struck a major deal to bring up to 20 WB films to the biggest of screens all by the year 2013. Here's the relevant bit of info...

“Warner Bros. and IMAX also plan to release an additional 15 films over the course of 2011, 2012 and 2013, including Gravity, Dark Shadows, Fury Road, Batman 3, and Superman.”

The update is that the first Hobbit film, directed by Guillermo Del Toro has been nailed down to a December 2012 release and is included as part of that package of films. The follow-up will release exactly one year later.

The biggest news is that this gives us something of ballpark date for the third installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman epic, and frankly the only real confirmation of it's existence. Up to this point any information on it has been kept totally under wraps. We're still a long way off so trying to nail down even an estimated release date is premature.

Then there's Superman, which has been languishing in development Hell for a few years now. This could serve as an indicator that some real movement has taken place on reviving the Man of Steel's film franchise. The only thing we really know so far is that Nolan will be serving as a 'godfather' of sorts but not actually directing it.

Lastly, it might not amount to anything. This isn't a Warner Brothers press release. It's an IMAX one. Granted, I doubt that IMAX would list a bunch of movies that they don't have any sort of confirmation on but would I be totally surprised if they did? Not really.  As usual we'll just have to wait and see when the real news starts flying about these movies.

COMMANDO Remake Finds Writer/Director


While I wouldn't exactly consider Commando a classic, it's one of those movies I figured would never be touched in today's day and age. It's too silly, over the top, and flat out stupid to satisfy most of the "civilized" moviegoing audience out there now. The 1985 actioner starred the Governator, Arnold himself, as an ex-soldier who blasts his way through literally hundreds of armed goons in order to rescue his daughter from a ruthless dictator. If I had to point to one movie that epitomized the action movie standards of the decade Commando would be it.

Fox has been haggling over remaking Commando for years it feels like. Now it seems like they're ready to steam ahead, hiring David Ayer to both write and direct. Ayer's most recent works are both gritty, urban cop dramas, the Christian Bale starring Harsh Times and the Keanu Reeves led Street Kings. Ayer also wrote the screenplays for Training Day and Dark Blue, so his focus has been pretty much set on the cops walking the beat.

It's intended that Ayer will add a "real world" spin on the Commando story, with a more covert style and not as much of the running ahead guns blazing. Hm? That doesn't sound like Commando to me...

No word yet on who'll take over Arnie's role, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was at one time attached. Would he be a perfect fit? Yes he would.

I wonder if he'll make the protagonist a cop rather than a retired soldier? I wouldn't be surprised given his track record. If they're going to remake a movie like this then it needs to capture the same tone of the original. I don't want a serious Commando flick. What would be the fun in that? The entire reason Commando is watchable is because it's so outrageously awful. Can you imagine it played straight? Yuck. I'm afraid this is going to look more like Taken by the time they're done with it. Just you wait and see.

You can read more of Deadline's coverage of the story here.

4/28/2010

Done Deal: Bill Condon to Direct THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN

After weeks of courting various A-list directors(including Sofia Coppola and Gus Van Sant) to take on the fourth and final chapter of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series, it appeared that Bill Condon(Dreamgirls) had emerged as the frontrunner.

Today, Summit Entertainment made it official. Condon had this today after the big announcement...

"I'm very excited to get the chance to bring the climax of this saga to life on-screen," Condon said in a statement. "As fans of the series know, this is a one-of-a-kind book - and we're hoping to create an equally unique cinematic experience."

Breaking Dawn, considered to be the most far out and crazy story of the entire series, is expected to be broken up into two films to be shot back-to-back, with shooting set to begin late this year.

Letterier Not Returning for CLASH OF THE TITANS 2

In what should come as a "shock" to all those who sat blurry eyed through the awful Clash of the Titans, director Louis Letterier will not be returning to helm the sequel. Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures are already moving ahead with plans, hoping to get production underway in time for a 2012 release.  The hope is to find a director who can get crankin' on the shoot before star Sam Worthington has to get back into Smurf-mode for James Cameron's Avatar sequel.

The entire cast that didn't get turned to stone or crushed by a scorpion tail is expected to return, along with writer Greg Berlanti to pen the script. The studios insist that there is no ill will between them and Letterier, and he will be staying on as exec producer.

I don't blame Letterier for how bad 'Titans' turned out to be. The decision to add that foggy 3-D effect came from above him and at the last possible second. Remember they hired an outside crew to tack it on literally a month before the film's release, and we saw the Vaseline like results. I'm sure if I had taken the time to see it in plain ol' 2-D it would've been a perfectly fine action romp. I still would've been pissed at the use of the Kraken, who spent 15 minutes "releasing" from the watery depths just to be killed in the same amount of time it took me to toss my used candy wrappers under my chair.

Dreamworks Doubles Down on HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON Sequel

After the first couple of weeks of release, it appeared that the critical buzz around Dreamworks' How to Train Your Dragon wasn't going to amount to much at the box office. Then the strong word of mouth, combined with relatively weak family film competition, led to strong holds and surge of audience activity. Now 'Dragon' is a bonafide success, soon to surpass all Dreamworks non-Shrek titles. So a sequel was pretty much a leadpipe lock.

It appears that Dreamworks is doubling down on the prospects of turning 'Dragon' into a viable franchise, commissioning two separate scripts for the sequel, to be written by the film's directors, Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois. The report from the TAG Blog states that both directors had differing ideas for the sequel, but that they "sort of tracked together". 

What that means exactly nobody can be sure. The possibility is that both stories could be combined to produce one film. What I think is more likely is that the stories will be merged to create an overarching theme that will encompass the next two features.

However it turns out, it looks like Dreamworks has found it's lead dog to replace the concluding Shrek franchise.

4/27/2010

ANCHORMAN 2 On the Way?


Surprisingly, Anchorman 2 hasn't already happened yet. You'd think that with the Adam McKay helmed comedy becoming such a cult favorite that it'd be a sure thing. Will Ferrell has said he'd be up for it, and so has most of the principle cast. So what's been the big hold up?  Money, apparently. In an interview with MTV, McKay let loose a few details on what's been holding production back. Here's the important part...

It’s a tricky movie because everyone went and did really well after it, so everyone’s prices went up and everyone’s time got a little more valuable. But at the same time, graciously, Steve and Paul and everyone agreed to cut their price to come and do [the sequel], which you don’t see very often in Hollywood — and cut their price substantially. But even with that, it’s just a budgetary thing with Paramount in terms of how much they’ll give us to make it. We had an idea and we contacted Steve and Paul and [David] Koechner and Christina [Applegate] and checked in with everyone and they were all game for it. The stage we’re at now is talking to Paramount and trying to get the money to do it.

Just last month, Ferrell told Zoo Magazine that the chances of a sequel were unlikely. McKay's comments make it seem a little more likely that we will see Ron Burgundy and his porn 'stache again in the not too distant future.He went on to say that the plan is to have the story take place in the 1980s, which brings with it all sorts of new issues for the time locked newsman. While the script is not yet finished, the hope is to have one completed in order to begin shooting in February 2011.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was a modest hit back in 2004, taking in an estimated $90M on a roughly $20M budget. 


Punch Drunk DVDs


It's Complicated
I'm not the first person to say that Meryl Streep can pretty much nail any type of role she puts her mind to, but somehow managing to make me enjoy a Nancy Meyers rom-com full of people twenty years my senior? Truly a remarkable feat. Streep tarts it up more than we're used to, playing a divorcee backsliding into a romance with her loudmouthed ex(Alex Baldwin). Steve Martin is the potential guy of her dreams though, as a recently divorced architect on the rebound. Not normally my cup of tea, but a ton of fun and the one time I actually liked John Krasinski.






Tombstone
The Western that turned me into a diehard fan. Before Tombstone, I would walk out of the room everytime my dad had on one of John Wayne's old standbys. It was the slick combination of Kurt Russell, Sam Elliott, and Val Kilmer that turned me into a believer, starring as the famed Earp brothers and gunfighter Doc Holliday. Pretty much a must buy on Blu-Ray.








The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Sad that Heath Ledger's final work is such a jumbled, confusing mess. The actor tragically died while filming this latest fantastical tale from Terry Gilliam, about a travelling theater troupe that makes a pact with the devil. Ledger is actually very good in his brief scenes, but his passing clearly affected story's momentum. Jude Law, Colin Farrell, and Johnn Depp do their best to pick up the slack but the transitions are just too jarring.







Five Minutes of Heaven
The age old moral dilemmas of revenge and justice come to a head in this low key tale featuring Liam Neeson(Taken) and James Nesbitt(Milions). Neeson plays a convicted murderer, recently rehabilitated and released from prison. Nesbitt is the younger brother of the man that was killed , and still trying to figure out the best way to cope with his building anger and need for retribution.









The Descent: Part 2
Still a little bitter that this didn't get a theatrical. The original Descent took some time to win me over, but eventually I was thrilled by a bloody horror flick with a strong female cast. This one picks up right where the other left off with Sarah Carter trudging back down into the caves to help her friends. It's going to take some pretty nimble mental gymnastics for me to wrap my brain around that considering all she's done, but I'm up for seeing how they make it plausible.







District 13: Ultimatum
The original District B13 ranked at the top of my list of best action movies ever a couple of years ago for a darn good reason. It combines the frenetic Olympian level martial arts style reminiscent of a young Jackie Chan with badass gunplay, all delivered in a neat little package by writer Luc Besson and director Pierre Morel. That's a hard combination to beat. The sequel brings a new helmer, but Besson is back handling the words, so I expect more of the same. My homie John gives it his seal of approval, and that's good enough for me. Bought and sold.






Transylmania
I don't remember if we did a worst films of 2009 list or not but if I left off Transylmania then it was a major oversight. As if the world was clamoring for a third installment of the brutal National Lampoon's Dorm Daze "franchise", they decided that not only would we get more but that it was a good idea to tap into the current vampire craze as well. That's right. The idiot students have gone abroad for a semester at a Transylvanian university. Bad vamp jokes and lame Twilight riffs abound. So bad it can't even be enjoyed on a "so awful it's good" level. A pockmark on the rear end of comedy.

Paramount Scares Up THE RING....3-D!

I thought we were done with the whole J-Horror thing? No? I thought watching Ed Burns sleepwalk his way through One Missed Call would've been the deathknell. Apparently, Paramount has other ideas and has decided to double down on the whole ordeal as they've decided to bring back the granddaddy of American J-horror remakes, The Ring. Only this time it'll be...in 3-D! Dunh dunh dunh!!!! 

Paramount has hired writer David Loucka(The Dream Team) to pen the script, which is being pushed as a "teen-centric" reimagining of the franchise.  Know what that sounds like? Straight to DVD. Just like Pulse 2 or The Grudge 3 bypassed theaters, I doubt that The Ring will gain any sort of theatrical distribution without it's main lead. The chances of Naomi Watts returning are slim and none, and slim just went out for a smoke break.

The Ring involved a video tape that when played and watched, would lead to the death of the viewer within a week. Even now I'm still confused about how all that worked. I think there was a girl in a well or something. So the question now is, do they up the ante by making it a Blu-Ray that kills folks? Or if they wanna stick with the nostalgia theme, a laser disc?

ANCHORMAN Director to Helm Ennis' THE BOYS?



Back in March, A Nightmare on Elm Street director Samuel Bayer hinted that the project he really wanted to tackle next was an adaptation of Garth Ennis' NC-17 superhero comic, The Boys.  Since then, not much has been said but Bayer definitely wasn't given the job, and now it's starting to sound as if he lost out completely. But...but...to Adam McKay?? Not the Anchorman Adam McKay? Say it ain't so!  Bayer had this to say when talking to Film School Rejects...

It’s so funny, I would die to do that comic book. From what I’ve heard from the producers on the movie is that Adam McKay is doing it. He did Anchorman, I guess. The studio is really hot on him and… Let’s have the movie [A Nightmare on Elm Street] come out this weekend and do really well. Then we’ll see how my stock is in Hollywood.

This would not be wise. So unlike a miniature Buddha with hair. Nothing against McKay, other than the fact he's made very few movies I actually like(sorry Anchorman fanatics!). It's just when I think of The Boys, I think of over-the-top action, gore, and raunchy sex. That's what it's all about. McKay is very good at scatological humor, and while there are certainly elements of that, The Boys is not meant to be a straight up comedy. It's part conspiracy, part superhero deconstruction(think Kick-Ass on steroids), part fratboy dream fulfillment. There are a crazy mix of elements and I've yet to see McKay be able to handle more than one at a time. His films don't usually require much more than just the occasional pratfall.

Since this is yet to be confirmed there is still hope that saner minds will prevail. I'm still holding out judgement on whether Bayer is the perfect choice until after I see Elm Street tomorrow night, but surely he's a better option even now than McKay would be.

SYNOPSIS:
This is going to hurt! In a world where costumed heroes soar through the sky and masked vigilantes prowl the night, someone’s got to make sure the “supes” don’t get out of line. And someone will! Billy Butcher, Wee Hughie, Mother’s Milk, The Frenchman, and The Female are The Boys: A CIA-backed team of very dangerous people, each one dedicated to the struggle against the most dangerous force on Earth - superpower! Some superheroes have to be watched. Some have to be controlled. And some of them, sometimes, need to be taken out of the picture. That’s when you call in The Boys!

4/26/2010

JONAH HEX trailer preview

I never got a look at the preview footage of Jonah Hex presented at Comic-Con last year. Not because I wasn't interested, quite the opposite. It had more to do with every video I saw being pre-cursored by sweaty, geeky fans who appeared to be filming while riding a unicycle. Me no likey shakey cam.

So I had to wait a year, big whoop. A full trailer is due out soon, possibly this week, but SyFy Channel presented a sneak peek, which frankly is too jumbled to make much of. It does little more than give us a brief glimpse at how the world of Jonah Hex is going to look, but that's really about all it does.

One thing I know for sure is that Josh Brolin was the PERFECT choice to play the scarred vigilante. If you'll recall, at one point Thomas Jane was lobbying heavily for the part but eventually lost out to Brolin, who has been on a roll the last few years ever since his part in Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror.

Take a gander at this sneak peek, followed by some additional info...



Jonah Hex is due to hit theaters on June 18, 2010. Stars Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Will Arnett, Michael Fassbender, Megan Fox, and Michael Shannon.

Columbia Prepping GHOST RIDER 2 Without Nic Cage?

There are a number of reasons why Ghost Rider wasn't much of a hit back in 2007: the main character is creepy...poor script....relatively unknown character, whatever. Nicolas Cage was probably the biggest draw. If there's one thing people like to see Cage do most it's play weird, off the wall characters. Despite his assertions that he wants to reprise his role as Johnny Blaze in a sequel, it appears that Columbia Pictures is set to move on without Cage's participation.

Vulture is reporting that Cage could be too busy filming National Treasure 3 to be a part of the sequel. As I speculated would happen months ago, Columbia wants desperately to get another Ghost Rider film out there otherwise the rights revert back to Marvel. It's a similar situation with all of Marvel's properties currently on license to outside studios. In this case Columbia must have something in production by the middle of November or risk losing the license. Writers Scott Gimple and Seth Hoffman worked in collaboration with David Goyer to turn in a final script already.

Apparently, Columbia has asked Marvel for an extension on that license. Don't expect that to happen. Marvel in the past has expressed regret at licensing away their properties to other studios because it lessens the financial gains they themselves could be reaping. It would be to their benefit to have Ghost Rider become part of the larger Marvel film universe.

So if Cage isn't involved, would that cause a rewrite of the script? Would they continue on with Johnny Blaze as the main character? Or would they possibly switch to one of the others who posessed the flaming skull, like Danny Ketch? We'll find out soon enough but I doubt that a Ghost Rider film succeeds on any level without an A-list talent attached.