Fave Five Films of Summer '09

It's the last day of August, officially the end of the Hollywood summer movie season. Like most summers, this was another year of big budget popcorn flicks that drew in both big bucks and big critical backlash. I could care less about all that stuff. To me, the summer is just like any other season, only with more knucklehead kids taking up space at the concession stand. Hollywood fudges their summer movie schedule a bit in order to inflate their numbers, even going so far in some cases as to include April(!!!) films to the tally, but for my purposes here I'm only workin' with June through August. I saw 37 movies during that period, which seems a bit low to me but I'm sure I spent the remainder of my time doing something constructive like playing Lost Odyssey and re-reading The Walking Dead in it's entirety.

This is sortof a wrap up to the summer and a bit of a kickoff to a new column I'll be doing every couple of weeks. I'll be counting down my Top 5 Films based on a certain category usually associated with the new releases coming out that week. So for instance, Gamer comes out this week so I might do my Top 5 Video Game movies. Get it? But today I'm recounting my Top 5 Films of what I think was another great summer in cinema.

5. District 9

The opening spots for District 9 left me unimpressed and underwhelmed. A space ship floating over a desert. Awesome. Then as I began to hear and see more of this delightfully rich and thoughtful sci-fi actioner, I got sucked in by it's potential. Little did I know that Neil Blomkamp and Peter Jackson's film would more than exceed my expectations, it took my expectations and shoved 'em into the locker. District 9 combines jaw dropping photo realistic special effects with a story that manages to be both thought provoking and edge of your seat entertaining. It's a testament to how good this summer's been when a film as good as this only ranks 5th on my list.

4. Inglorious Basterds

I feel like I haven't given this film it's due. Re-reading my own review, perhaps I was too harsh and didn't really get across just how much I love this movie. Tarantino's war film mixed with a spaghetti western is the sort of big idea event that I've come to expect. Every line of dialogue in this movie works. Every scene hits it right on the head. Brad Pitt's Aldo Raine is arguably the best character Tarantino's ever created. The film might not have been what I was expecting going in, but what I got was pretty damn great just the same.

3. The Hurt Locker

I'd been hearing the praise for weeks: "Best war film since Saving Private Ryan!", "Best Iraq War movie ever!" None of it is hyperbole. There are few movie experiences as visceral and thrilling as The Hurt Locker, Kathry Bigelow's searing look into brutal world of a reckless EOD technician. There's not a single moment in this movie where the tension lets up. Every second it feels like something's about to explode, whether they're on the battlefield or not. If Jeremy Renner doesn't get nominated for his turn as adrenaline junkie Sgt. William James, it'll be a travesty.

2. Thirst

You can say what you want about Rob Zombie or Platinum Dunes or whoever, Park Chan-Wook has made the only horror movie that mattered this summer. Thirst is a vampire movie that dares to be something different. Sickeningly disgusting at times, but also deep in it's characterizations of a priest who finds his entire belief system shattered when he's accidentally transformed into an undead blood sucker. Chan-Wook combines horror, drama, and a surprising level of dark comedy perfectly to make a nearly flawless film and a return to form for vampires as a whole.

1. (500) Days of Summer

It should come as no surprise what my favorite film of the summer, and of the year is right now. I've praised this movie to the point where I'm starting to get royalty checks from Fox Searchlight. I think you can buy refrigerator magnets with my face on 'em from their website right now. Starring probably my two favorite actors on the planet right now and throwing the typical love story tropes clear out the window, 500 Days is the most honest take on love..not necessarily being in love...that I've seen since...High Fidelity. Yes, High Fidelity. Both of these movies are films for guys, and the crazy lopsided ways we look at the women in our lives especially after they've kicked us to the curb. Combine that with an awesome soundtrack and unique music video-style presentation and you've got a movie that's knockin' on the door of being in my all-time Top 10.

Honorable Mentions: Tetro, The Hangover, In the Loop, A Perfect Getaway, and The Cove all could've made this list.

Worst Film of the summer? Year One. Never have I wanted to hurl Swedish Fish at the screen more than I did during this laugh free prehistoric pile of crap.

Top Shelf at the Box Office! 8/31/09

It's not often that you get to see two horror movies come out on the same weekend. That indicates that neither studio was all that threatened by the other's presence, which is probably the right way to think. Halloween 2 and The Final Destination are vastly different movies despite falling into the same category. One is a slasher made for the hardcore audience, while FD could probably be considered more of a dark comedy at this point. Sure it's gross, but cartoony in it's absurd violence. Whatever. If you're a horror fan you probably had a ton of fun this weekend.

1. The Final Destination- $28.3M

With a start like this, is there any doubt that this won't be the final destination afterall? The 4th film in the franchise scored it's highest opening weekend ever, aided by the higher ticket prices for the 1,600 3-D screens it was showing at across the country. Still, for a relatively low budget franchise with no recognizable faces(the biggest star is Mykelti "Bubba Gump" Williamson) this has to be a welcome sign as to the health of the franchise, especially considering it was going head-to-head with another film of a similar type.

2. Inglorious Basterds- $20M/$73.8M

Tarantino's war/spaghetti western dropped a passable 47%, wedging it's way between the two horror films this week. Overseas the film has pulled in an additional $59M, making this already one of Tarantino's most successful films.

3. Halloween II- $17.4M

Rob Zombie's "completion of his epic vision" for Michael Meyers kinda got it's butt kicked by another aging franchise this week, but that had to be expected somewhat. Halloween basically follows up immediately from the previous film and gives us pretty much exactly the same thing we got the first time around. Some would think that means the box office should be at or near that of the last film, which brought in $26M it's first weekend. But Final Destination kinda screws that up by offering something atleast marginally different. What I expect is that those people who didn't see this film yet will see it by next weekend, and Halloween 2 will remain relatively unscathed for one more week. Then it'll quickly plummet out of the Top 10.

4. District 9- $10.7M/$90.8M

Seriously, Reuters? District 9 is not a horror film, ok? It does not belong in the same category as Halloween and Final Destination. Ugh. The sci-fi hit only slipped 41% this week, and at this point has more than tripled it's production cost. Amazing.

5. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra- $8M/$132M

6. Julie & Julia- $7.4M/$71M

As predicted, Julie & Julia is going to be servin' up marvelous meals for many more weeks, dropping a measley 16% this week, the best of any film in the top 10.

7. The Time Traveler's Wife- $6.75M/$48.2M

I can't believe I still haven't seen this. Slackin'.

8. Shorts- $4.87M/$13.6M

Perhaps I spoke too soon last week because this was a better than expected second week for Robert Rodriguez's next kiddie vehicle. I mean, it's still a flop and a borderline disaster, but I expected it to be well out of the top 10 by now.

9. Taking Woodstock- $3.75M

Looks like there ain't a lot o' love for a bunch of dirty hippies. Despite my love of Ang Lee's films, I knew this wasn't going to be a major box office success as his name simply has no drawing power. The subject matter wasn't really gonna put asses in seats, either. So I was surprised by the amount of screens this was being shown at, but I'm not surprised by the disappointing outcome.

10. G Force- $2.85M/$112M

Buh..bye.

500 Days of Summer continues it's run as the biggest indie hit of the summer, pulling in another $2M and bringing it's total to $25M. It should be more, people. It's still playing at most theatres so do yourself a favor and check it out.

Patton Oswalt's dark dramatic turn in Big Fan debuted in only 2 sites this past weekend, scoring an estimated $26,000. The film expands slowly over the next couple of weeks.

The biggest per site average of the weekend goes to the Vogue documentary, The September Issue, which hauled in an estimaed $240,000 in only 6(!!) theatres. Holy crap. Of course these were probably all in Los Angeles and were attended by rich folks who are in the movie but who cares? That's a helluva number.

Bad Boys 3 in the Works

Looks like Detectives Lowry and Bennett are back on the case. Well....maybe. Columbia Pictures has hired Peter Craig to hammer out a script for a proposed 3rd film in the Bad Boys franchise. The most recent film, Bad Boys 2, was released in '03 and grossed upwards of $130M domestic. There's just one problem, however. None of the principles are signed on for the film as of yet. Not Will Smith, or Martin Lawrence, or even director Michael Bay. Columbia's hope is that a workable script will lure them all to return, but right now nothing is set in stone.

What's that old saying? God answers all prayers, it's just sometimes His answer is "no"? I take it that's been his ultimate answer to all my silent prayers that the Bad Boys franchise was dead and buried after that abysmal second film. I don't care how cool Hot Fuzz made that movie seem in retrospect, I suffered watching that crap. And before you hammer me too badly, I am a huge fan of the original Bad Boys(mainly because of Tea Leoni, though). My curiosity about this project is piqued only because I wonder what they will do if Lawrence or Smith don't sign on. I'm pretty sure the film will proceed even without Michael Bay behind the director's chair, but without the actors do they give up? Or do they hire two actors to replace them and go straight-to-DVD? Time will tell.

Reuters has more on the story here.

Stallone Prepares Fifth Rambo Film

Sly Stallone seems to be getting busier with age. It's like he's finally figured out what movies have always worked for him and isn't straying far from that model. So far he's brought back his two most iconic characters with the films Rocky Balboa and Rambo. And ofcourse he's just finished production of the greatest action film yet to be seen, The Expendables. Now Stallone has officially signed on to both write and direct the fifth installment of the Rambo series, according to Variety.

The film's storyline is already set in place, detailing Rambo's quest to rescue a girl who's been kidnapped by human traffickers along the US/Mexico border. Shooting on the film is set to begin in Spring of next year.

At this point I'm all for anything Stallone wants to do. Rambo, while not a great film, was certainly entertaining and I thought Rocky Balboa was one of his most poignant performances. The plot for this Rambo seems like a bit of a departure, so I'll be interested to see how it pans out.

Trailer for The Descent Pt. 2!

A couple of years ago, a little film I knew nothing about took me by surprise and became one of the few horror movies I've enjoyed the last few years. That movie was The Descent, which followed a group of women as they become trapped underground and are attacked by murderous, cave dwelling monsters. I was surprised to hear that a sequel was being worked on, to be directed by Jon Harris, who edited the first film. Now we get our first real look at the film and it's...pretty much like the original. The story takes place right where The Descent left off, and involves the sole survivor of the attack returning for a rescue mission to find her friends.



The Descent 2 is set to be released in the UK in December, so expect it's US release to be somewhere around then as well.

The Final Destination

Well, atleast Death has a sense of humor. He certainly doesn't have an eye for talent, anymore. It strikes me that Death could easily be defeated if people learned how to use a screwdriver properly and stopped placing containers of flammable liquid on the edge of the table. But that would require more brains than any of the characters in this 4th(!!!) installment of the death cheating franchise ever display, and I'm hoping that maybe this is the film where everybody finally kicks the bucket for good.

As usual, the film starts with a premonition of a huge disaster, killing dozens of people. This time around it's at a NASCAR event. I guess Death's plan is that watching cars drive in circles for hours will eventually lead to mass suicide, but after awhile he must've gotten fed up and started flipping cars over onto people. Nick, the non-descript lead dude who had the vision, causes a ruckus that gets he and his friends kicked out, avoiding their demise. Death kinda sorta takes issue with that. I'm sure he's got quotas to meet like everybody else.

Death starts picking off the escapees in the same order they should've died in the disaster. But Death must have a weird guilt complex or something, because he keeps warning Nick and his friends who's next and tells them exactly how they'll die. What's up with that? It makes no sense. Perhaps he..or more likely "she"(Death seems like a chick to me) probably was trying to keep these boring characters out of his realm. I wouldn't want to spend eternity with this nameless crew of mannequins. These jokers make Devon Sawa look like George Clooney. They never should've killed off my girl Ali Larter, but they do manage to homage her character in one of the film's few bright spots.

Clearly, the Final Destination franchise has gone to the well once too often. One of the things I liked about the first two films was that the characters actually tried to find a way to end the cycle of death for good. There was an element of problem solving that broke up the eventual monotony of just waiting for the next character to get hit by a flying razor blade or something. They barely even bother trying to figure out what's going on anymore. And maybe that's why the movie was only about 70 minutes long(minus credits). It felt like the writer was struggling to find something for these characters to do when all he's really trying to get to is the next kill. Maybe that was fun the first couple times, but by now it's old hat. I saw it in 3-D, and as usual it adds a couple of cool shots but can't make a crappy film more enjoyable. Truth be told i'm so over the 3-D thing....well, atleast until Avatar comes out. Avatar's 3-D was mighty impressive. The only thing impressive about The Final Destination is how far it's fallen, and how badly they've killed the unique spirit it once had.

3/10

'Time Again' trailer

Through the wonder's of facebook I found this great promo for a film called 'Time Again'. Described by the director Ray Karwel as 'Timecop' meets 'Die Hard', which sold me right away, 'Time Again' is a hard nosed action movie with a mystical edge. Here's the official synopsis:

When a young waitress receives strange coins for a tip she inadvertently becomes embroiled in an underworld battle that leads to her murder. Her younger sister gets a chance to go back in time to prevent her untimely death.

Here's the thing, this is a low budget independant film which unfortunatley will turn alot of people off but you know what, this one looks pretty damn good. The trailer you see below is packed with action and what seems like an interesting and original story. I love that there's a female lead who can seem to hold her own in the action scenes and still look feminine. Too often you'll see a butch girl play those roles, only in the Resident Evil movies with Milla Jovovich do you see a convincingly badass feminine woman. Another really cool aspect to me is that the bad guy is using a garrotte as a weapon, you never see that in movies anymore and that thing is freaking terrifying! The film looks like the early action of John Woo and Jackie Chan, look for the shootout with the spool near the end! Personally I can't wait to see how this film plays out, we will bring you the latest on this flick as it comes as well as when and where you can see it.

Why I'm giving Rob Zombie a chance.

Remakes. Somehow that word has become synonomous with two things, sucking and box office gold (usually). Personally I've liked alot of the remakes that have come out, even if they were bad usually they were fun. I took issue with Rob Zombie, who I really like both in film and music, when he was slated to direct the remake of 'Halloween' as he had been quoted as saying remakes sucked and he would never do one. Whatever, we all change our minds that's fine and to be honest I really liked 'Halloween'. Then came 'H2' and the rants from me began, the look was wrong, the story was getting too close to 'Friday the 13th', WHAT IS HE DOING?!? I was of that mindset until just recently when I read another article in which Zombie basically says 'F you, I'm taking these properties and making them my own, doing them my way.". This made me think, "Is he the only one getting it right?", I mean they are pushing away the word remake for reimagining, am I one of these internet critic douches that latches onto childhood memories and curses anyone that dare put their spin on them? Worst case scenario we can always just ignore what comes out, best case we have a new spin on an old classic and are better for it. I've always liked Zombie's style and although I was fully opposed to 'Halloween 2' I'm going to give it a fair chance and to be honest I'm probably going to like it, hell it can't be worse than 'Halloween 3: Season of the Witch'. Morale of the story, let's stop internet prejudice and give everything it's fair shake...I'm starting the revolution with me.

'Ghosts Don't Exist' trailer

I love everything to do with the paranormal, it just is always so cool and intriguing to me. I was a big fan of 'Ghost Hunters' on Sci-Fi, (I refuse to call it by the new trendy Sy-Fy name they have gone with), and I always wondered...what if something actually freakin' happened? I mean something real, not some electronic meter going off or someone feeling a cold spot, but someone getting jacked up by a ghost a real Hollywood haunting! Well it looks like someone was thinking the same thing I was because I just came across this awesome trailer for 'Ghosts Don't Exist', which if you are a DC local will notice includes local celebrities Lindsay Czarniak, Chris Cooley, and Todd Yoder. I don't have the official synopsis but basically it looks like a "Ghost Hunter" comes out of retirement to investigate another haunting and a poltergeist comes after them. This is an indie, so I don't think it will be released nationwide in 3000 theaters but we will definitely keep you updated on where you can catch it and when.

'The Men who Stare at Goats' trailer--Hilarious must see!

I just got sent a trailer called 'The Men who Stare at Goats' a movie I had heard nothing about, needless to say I was a bit WTF, (if I may borrow the term from the Twilight fanbase), about it. So I hit play and who do I see but George Clooney and Ewan McGregor....ok, you have my attention, how'd I not know about this. As the trailer plays you find out it's a film about the "True" story of our governments attempt to train psychic soldiers, specifically Clooney's character who is the best of the psychic breed. Sounds serious and all sci-fi/X-Files like right? Wrong, it's hilarious! Clooney is always at his best playing the cool goofy guy, and if I'm not mistaken he's actually pulling off a Hitler 'stache in this one...no small feat. In all this trailer really makes me look forward to this movie if not just for the sheer ridiculousness of it all. I didn't even mention that 'The Dude' himself, Jeff Bridges, plays the hippie leader/trainer of the psychic soldiers. I'll reserve judgement on the movie, but this trailer is DEFINITELY worth a look. Happy Friday!

The List: 8/28/09

Ahh, the poor Captain Abu Raed. Alas he missed his shot near the top of the list last week, finding himself pushed back for love stories about autism and mutants with stakes for hands. Although to be fair, movies about mutants with stakes for hands is gonna beat a lot of stuff. This is one of those weeks that tests my resolve as a film lover. There's a ton to see coming out today, but most of it is stuff that I can already see I'm not going to like. Do I want to see this movie about a bunch of dirty hippies(sorry, I loved that line in Death Proof) sliding down a muddy hill? Or how about another horror remake? Followed by the 4th film in an awful horror franchise? It's the type of week that almost makes me want to go back to reviewing music...until I think of the poor state of the music industry then I'm snapped back to reality.



If this wasn't an Ang Lee joint I would keep a pretty healthy distance away from this thing. Lee has proven himself to be one of the great directors of our time, and it never ceases to amaze me how he never lets himself get stuck into one single directing style. This is the same guy who gave us the breath taking Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon then followed it up with the highly underrated Hulk. Yes, that's right. I liked Hulk, and the supposedly more action packed sequel isn't as much of an improvement as people like to make it out to be. But can even he make me care about this legendary musical event that I have no real connection to? I'm not really a fan of the music, and the trailers lead me to believe that this movie is only going to touch lightly upon the real meaning behind the event in favor of a few laughs and quirky performances like Liev "Sabretooth" Schreiber as a transvestite. Surprisngly, you can pretty much find Taking Woodstock at almost any theatre.



I feel like I've got short term memory when it comes to these horror remakes. I vaguely recall watching Rob Zombie's previous Halloween film. When I look at my IMDB voter history it's sitting right there, so I must've seen it. But I'll be damned if I can remember a single scene from it. This means either I've come down with horror specific selective memory(I can't remember The Hills Have Eyes either but that is intentional) or it didn't make much of an impression. It's rare that studios release two horror films on the same weekend, since they tend to cannablize each other's box office. That tells me they have confidence in Rob Zombie's "vision" to keep the horror freaks coming for a few weeks atleast. The next film on the other hand...



...will be popular for a week because it's in 3-D, then it will die a rapid death just like the story's helpless victims. I saw The Final Destination last night, but I'm obligated to see it with a friend in the near future which is why it makes the list. The 4th film in the "let's cheat Death's design" series is campier and much less polished than the previous 3 films, but sticks relatively close to the tropes of it's predecessors. So in short: The Final Destination is less polished than the others. If that sounds great to you, have at it. Oh, it's also in competition with Walking Tall as the shortest movie I ever paid money to see. I blinked and bammas were steppin' over water bottles and nacho containers to hit the exits.

That's It? What Else is Out There?



Since Patton Oswalt's Big Fan has yet to hit the DC Metro area, I'm left with Andy Griffith to shoulder the comedy burden. That's right. Andy Griffith. To this day the funniest thing ever involving him was the episode of Married With Children where they went to a little hic town where the local celebrity was "The Man Who Met Andy Griffith". Griffith seems to be working more now than he has in years, following up his supporting role in Waittress with this romantic comedy for geriatrics, Play the Game. I think it's about a young ladies' man who tries to win over Marla Sokoloff, while at the same time teaching Andy Griffith how to score with Doris Roberts. There are few things in this world I want to see less than a Griffith/Roberts bangfest. I think she's a little young for him, too. Gross.

The Blob gets a Zombie Makeover

It looks like Rob Zombie is going to wrap his grubby little fingers over every iconic horror franchise. Variety is reporting that Zombie, who's Halloween 2 hits theatres today, is signed on to write and direct a remake of The Blob. The 1958 original involves a jelly like creature that falls from outer space and proceeds to consume anybody it comes in contact with. But Zombie has no intention of sticking with the original premise, preferring something a bit more modern. He says..

"My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing -- that's the first thing I want to change," Zombie said. "That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now."

He might be right about that, but why not just make a different movie then? Oh yeah. Marketing. Right. Zombie's been hit or miss with me ever since House of a Thousand Corpses, which I thought was absolutely unwatchable. The Devil's Rejects, on the other hand, was an improvement solely because of the iconic characters within, even if the direction of the film was lousy. I wasn't a fan of Zombie's Halloween, either, but I've heard decent things about the sequel so maybe he can change my mind a little bit.

You're Kidding! The SUN Lied about Megan Fox as Catwoman??

Surely this must be a mistake!? There's no way the UK's The Sun "newspaper" could've lied about Megan Fox starring in Christopher Nolan's third Batman film! Why, they're only the UK version of that bastion of fact checking dilligence..that wellspring of credibility, the New York Post!

Uh, no. This is why I didn't even bother putting the story up yesterday. It stunk of lies from jumpstreet. It was being reported as FACT by The Sun that Megan Fox had already signed on to don the skintights as Catwoman in Nolan's next Batman film, and as such a ton of other sites took the news as gospel without actually thinking about the source. So it should come as no surprise that the rumor was followed up on and quickly debunked. A studio rep told People.com...

"It's rumor. It's not true," said a studio rep. "There is no script. There is no project to be cast in."

Ain't It Cool News got even more of a denial from Megan Fox's own publicist...

"Megan is a huge fan of the Batman movies and of director Christopher Nolan but these discussions have not taken place.

Thank you for checking."

With a franchise as huge as Batman, rumors like this come with the cape and cowl. But for the most part, it only takes a modicum of brainpower to figure out what's b.s. and what's real. For instance, Christopher Nolan isn't even locked in for the 3rd film as of right now. There's no script. No plot. No plan. There's as much chance of us seeing Booster Gold in the next Batman film as we are of Catwoman at this stage.

But if you're really that anxious for more Megan Fox, rather than spreading rumors about her next role, why not just sign in to Xbox Live and play video games with her? I'm sure that's really her playing and not just some very fat very male gopher who works for her.

Favreau Laments Avengers Film

Where the hell did Ireland Online come from? All of a sudden they've got the drop on all the Marvel film news. It's like they found a little pot of leprechaun gold at the end of the friggin' rainbow. In an interview with IOL, Iron Man director Jon Favreau expresses a little bit of trepidation at the idea of a film centered around The Avengers. The Avengers is the Marvel Comics superteam featuring many of the staples that will be featured on the big screen, including Iron Man, The Hulk, and Captain America.

He said: "I think that's fun. I think it's inevitable, and 'The Avengers' might be the thing that helps rescue us from the inevitable sequel slump that you get into, because you're throwing everything on its ear.

"It might be a failed experiment or it might be something wonderful, but it allows you to add complexity in an organic way where you're culminating with something bigger, as opposed to trying to play out and not repeat the same story over and over again."

So atleast the guy's got a little hope for it. Although it'd weird that he's even talking about it at this stage of development. He goes into a little more detail on the Iron Man 2 goings on in the rest of the interview, which you can find right here.

Heathers Returns!! As a TV Show?

If Fox blows this, it'll be keggers with kids all next year...

Variety is reporting that Fox and Sony have struck some sort of heinous pact to bring the iconic 1989 teen comedy, Heathers, back into the limelight. Only...not on the big screen but as a TV show? Or a TV movie? It's not very clear, honestly. Either way, where's the online petition I can sign to make sure this doesn't happen? The two folks adapting this eyesore are inconsequential, but their past credits include Sex and the City and...Men in Trees. As someone who was forced to watch an episode of Men in Trees once, I can tell you it was about as pleasurable as a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

Seriously, whenever I get around to listing my pantheon movies, Heathers is going to be near the top of the list. You DON'T FUCK WITH HEATHERS!! Leave it alone. It's perfect. It took the John Hughes teen movie model and flipped it on it's ear. It gave us a darker take on the glossy "angst" of those other 80s teen films, and managed to be just as funny as any of them and twice as quotable. Plus it's the movie that kicked off my love affair with Winona Ryder(sorry she was ugly as sin in Lucas) My question now is how do they expect to adapt it in any believable way? First off, the themes that were so prescient in the 80s don't really apply anymore, and even if they did do we really think they're gonna put on basic TV a show about kids committing suicide? No. That means it'll be dumbed down into Mean Girls-lite with little connection to the movie other than a bunch of girls named Heather and a guy doing a Jack Nicholson impression. As much as I love the movie, this idea sounds like disaster. But since I can't really do anything about it, let me today just dream of a world without a Heather, a world where I am free.

Bitch Slap Redband trailer!

Pure exploitation. That's the best way I can describe this amazing redband trailer for Bitch Slap. I have not a friggin' clue what it's about, although I'm guessing it's about broads, cans, knockers, headlights, and maybe a few guns, cars, and motorcycles thrown in. It features cameos by both Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless, so it's almost a syndicated adventure series reunion of sorts. Now if only we could get that guy who starred in Highlander we'd have ourselves a real party.

Bitch Slap is set for the Toronto International Film Festival in September, but little word on whether or not a United States release will soon follow. Now that this thing's caught my eye, you better believe I'll be keeping up to date on it. Anyway, check out the trailer...at home and not at work, stupid.

Scott Pilgrim...SUPER GEM FIGHTER!!!

I've kept the Scott Pilgrim stuff to a minimum on purpose, but when you parody one of the great fun fighting games of all-time, I gotta sit up and take notice. The below image pays homage to the upcoming Scott Pilgrim vs. The World film and is an obvious parody of Capcom's awesome fighter, Super Gem Fighter. I just thought it was cool. I think I still have this game in my house somewhere.




And the cover to Capcom's Super Gem Fighter...

Aussie's Eff Up Green Lantern!

Been following Production Weekly's Twitter feed? You should be, as it's a veritable buffet of regular film news. Recently they dropped like a ton of bricks the news that production on the Ryan Reynolds starring Green Lantern film might be delayed due to the recent gains made by the Australian dollar. Damn roo lovin' freaks! From an article in the Australian website, Inside Film...

"While most offshore productions lock in finance when a project is green-lit, it is understood that ongoing work on the Green Lantern script delayed that move. Pre-production on the film was originally scheduled for July and filming for November,"

The only reason I bother posting this is because..well, Green Lantern is the superhero movie I'm probably most excited about. And a delay of this sort could force them to switch locations, hire an entirely new crew, and could push this thing back months if not longer. Warner Bros. has their entire slate lined up pretty neatly right now, and Green Lantern is the lynchpin of the entire strategy. If something like this derails it, it could be a disaster.

The Queue: Phoebe in Wonderland (2009)

I still have no idea how this got on my queue. It's not the type of movie I usually would go out of my way to see, nor would I put it anywhere near the top of my list. Fortunately I gave it a real chance, because it turned out to be a surprisingly powerful film.

Elle Fanning stars as Phoebe, a young girl who's sick of playing by the rules. Rules at school, rules at home, rules seemingly everywhere. Phoebe often finds herself getting in trouble at school, and doesn't fit in with the students around her. Her parents have their own problems. Her mother is struggling to write a thesis based on Alice in Wonderland. Her father is a writer who's sudden success causes rifts within the marriage. Phoebe's only real outlet is her vivid imagination, where she imagines herself and the people around her as charaters from Wonderland. When the opportunity arises for Phoebe to star in a play based on the story, she leaps at the chance. The play is directed by the artful Ms. Dodger(Patricia Clarkson), an enigmatic figure who sees parallels between herself and Phoebe.

Phoebe finds her true calling on stage, and flourishes. But her issues with staying out of trouble continue to haunt her. She becomes increasingly obsessive over minor details. She acts out in uncontrollable rages and bursts of cruelty that leave everyone off guard. Phoebe has a form of Tourette's Syndrome, but her parents refuse to accept it, choosing to ignore the issue for fear of having their child labeled.

This is Elle Fanning's debut in a starring role, and I gotta say that she's already showing the emotional maturity that has made her sister Dakota such a huge star. My biggest fear when dealing with any movie about a specific disease or syndrome is that the performance will be steeped in stereotype or caricature. I never felt that way for a second here. Every performance within is top notch, in particular Clarkson and Felicity Huffman as Phoebe's mom. Personally I'm sick of Bill Pullman and that droopy Dad thing he always does. The guy always looks and sounds like he just got back from a conference on water spigots or something.

I would've liked to have seen this film in the hands of a more dynamic director. Not that Daniel Barnz's approach is bad, it's just not very exciting. The camera remains pretty static throughout, and I often found myself drifting off during the quiet moments. Considering this is a film that's pretty much all quiet moments, you see my problem. But that doesn't negate the strong efforts by the cast, nor the message within. Phoebe in Wonderland is a film that would be perfect for a family movie night, or if you're trying to impart lessons to your kids about being unique and understanding those who are different. Worth checkin' out.

6.5/10

Next up on the Queue: Thomas Jane and Ron Perlman's MUTANT CHRONICLES (2009)

Witch Hunter Robin Left Me Bored

 

I always try to give an anime a shot, probably more than a movie.  Even the so-so ones are watchable.  I will have to say that “Witch Hunter Robin” was unwatchable after the 5th episode.

“Witch Hunter Robin” is about a witch who joins a group of witch hunters that are like the police force for witches.  Robin is young and hasn’t learned how to control her fire power.  It’s kind of her personal journey to becoming a powerful witch hunter.

The plot sounds great, but the characters didn’t help it any.  They were probably the most one-dimensional anime characters I have ever encountered.  There was no depth, so I had no reason to care about them.  Believe me, I tried.  The only who grabbed my attention somewhat was Amon.  He had this mysterious air about him, or it could have been because his persona was undeveloped. 

To me, it seemed as though the creators of “Hellsing” saw this anime series, and decided to make one of their own that tried to fix the problems that this one had. 

Very disappointing.

Photo Detail: Robin, originally uploaded by strange_sickness.

Hollywood Struts down the SOUL TRAIN Line!

When I was a kid, I used to watch Soul Train every damn weekend. I would sit and imagine that I would grow up be one of those cats dancin' with some hot broad who's probably only there with him because he's on the show. My favorite segments were ofcourse, The Soul Train Scramble Board, and the signature of the show, The Soul Train Line. That's where everybody would gather in two lines, leaving just enough room for dancers to show their stuff one after another. It was a stroke of genius by the show's creator and long-time host, Don Cornelius. Many a famous person got their big break as a part of that line, and it became a symbol of cool up until the moment Cameron Diaz besmirched it in Charlie's Angels(although I love that part of the movie, don't get me wrong).

Anyway, Variety is reporting that Don Cornelius has teamed up with Warner Bros. to produce a film based around the iconic dance show. Cornelius will co-write alongside Dead Presidents scribe, Malcolm Spellman. The film will be set in the 1980's, and involves a street dancer who longs for the big time, and hopes that he can get his break by appearing on Soul Train.

Eh, while I love the idea of Soul Train as the centerpiece of a story, the plot sounds way too formulaic for my taste. If it were me, and this is my putting on my writer hat(which has been gathering dust for years) I'd have made the film about the people who are already a part of the regular cast of dancers on Soul Train. Sortof like the film 54, I guess. Treat the show like a club and explore the lives of the people who are always there. I have no interest in a movie about a breakdancer tryin' to make it big. That's boring to me. But I'll try to withhold judgement, and trust that Cornelius still has the eye for identifying what's cool.

Xander Cage, Meet Your New Director

So yeah, that proposed XXX: The Return of Xander Cage film? The one I've been quietly hoping would just go away and be forgotten about since director Rob Cohen dropped out? Apparently this thing's got another life to use up, because Columbia has seen fit to hire a new director rather than letting the project just die. The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that Invincible helmer, Ericson Core, has been brought on to continue the adventures of Vin Diesel's snowboarding, Argento-bangin' adventurer. Never mind that Diesel's character was killed off on the DVD of XXX: State of the Union in a short film titled XXX: The Death of Xander Cage. But since nobody really saw or liked State of the Union, I guess that doesn't matter. It can all be retconned away(comic book terminology, sorry). They could just say that the Xander that was shot was a life model decoy...or a clone.....or Curly from the Three Stooges. Somethin'.

I was no fan of either XXX movie. The original only has a place in my heart because of the hotness of Asia Argento, and the hilarious treatment given to the film's villains. The Ice Cube sequel is best left forgotten.

Black Dynamite's Fuse is Finally Lit

Back in January we posted the redband trailer for Black Dynamite, a blaxploitation spoof starring Michael Jai White(Spawn). The film has gotten a ton of attention since it showed at Sundance, but there was some question as to whether or not it would actually get picked up and released. Well those fears can now be put to rest as the film has been acquired by Apparition for potential release on October 16th of this year. Variety has more on the story here.

If you haven't taken a look at the trailer, do yourself a favor and check out the link in the last paragraph. But...be sure to not do it work, okay? It's a bit naughty. This is great news, as I can now officially add Black Dynamite to the top of my list of MUST SEE flicks for the year.

Now if only I could get some word on Bring 'em Hell, Malone. I know it got screened at Comic-Con and the response was shall we say...less than enthusiastic.

Columbia Fastracks Hancock Sequel

News had initially broke last week that Columbia was really pushing ahead on a proposed sequel to Hancock, the Will Smith starring superhero movie from last year. That should come as no surprise consider it took in over $600M worldwide. Now we learn from The Hollywood Reporter that they've hired the writing duo of Adam Fierro and Glen Mazzara to handle the scripting chores. Both worked on FX's The Shield together.

Am I excited about this? Not really. Intrigued, maybe. I thought the first Hancock had a ton of potential, but they threw it away in favor of becoming a stock cookie cutter superhero flick. The most interesting aspect of it, and the only aspect that made the film unique,was the examination of Hancock as basically a loser who mooches off society. That was a great idea that should've been explored further. I could've done without the whole immortal thing and convoluted backstory between he and Charlize Theron's character. In fact, they could've axed out Charlize completely. Never thought I'd type out those words: Less Charlize Theron. Next thing you know I'll be screaming for less bacon on my Meat Lover's pizza.

The Talent Show: Kerry Condon

Chances are you know her face, but the name somehow seems to slip by. That's what kept happening to me everytime I saw the sexy Kelly Condon light up the screen. This hot, spicy lucky charm from Tipperary, Ireland first caught my eye in the Jet Li actioner, Danny the Dog(known as Unleashed here in the States). She was the emotional core of that violent flick, and stole every scene she was in, even when matched up against heavyweights like Morgan Freeman and Bob Hoskins. Then she disappeared off my radar for awhile until she popped up as the beautiful but easily manipulated Octavia in HBO's series, Rome.

Rumors of a possible Rome big screen effort still persist, but her next major role will be in The Last Station, directed by Michael Hoffman. The anticipated film about Leo Tolstoy also stars James McAvoy, Christopher Plummer, Helen Mirren, and Paul Giamatti, so she's in some pretty damn good company. The Last Station is due out in January, 2010, so keep an eye out.

Inglourious Basterds

You probably heard, but Quentin Tarantino ain't in the prisoner takin' business. He's in the killin' Nazi business, and boy, business is a-boomin'. Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds could be described as a spaghetti western wrapped in a war film and sprinkled with a touch of B-movie cliche. One of my biggest issues with QT is that I often felt he was a bit too beholden to the genres he idolizes so much. But in recent years he's broken out of that shell, and Inglourious Basterds, while not a perfect film by any means is the finest example yet that he's started truly making movies that aren't simple mimicry. Don't get me wrong, Basterds probably homages more movies here than any of his previous films, but it's never to the detriment of the story nor is it as obvious.

The opening sequence is ominous from the word "go", as we're introduced to two of the few central characters of the story, Shoshanna(Melanie Laurent) and Nazi Colonel Hans Landa(Christoph Waltz). Affectionately referred to as "The Jew Hunter", Lands is interrogating a tough, bearish dairy farmer over suspicion of hiding Shoshanna and her family. At first, Landa appears to be outmatched by the stoic farmer, but like any real villain, his defeat was simply a ruse, and he quickly breaks the man down with a few subtle threats and promises that likely won't be kept. Everyone inside is quickly murdered with the exception of Shoshanna, who flees into the countryside.

Years later, and Shoshanna has made a new life for herself in France under a new name. She's now the owner of a movie theatre, and found herself a lover. All appears to be well until until one day her life suddenly crashes headlong with the Nazis and Landa yet again, who want to use her theatre as the venue for a premier of their latest propaganda film, A Nation's Pride. This provides her with the perfect opportunity to exact revenge.

Tarantino breaks Basterds down into chapters, which to me felt like an unnecessary flourish to a fairly straight forward story. The second chapter introduces us to the Basterds and their enigmatic leader, Lt. Aldo Raine(Brad Pitt). Aldo is like if John Wayne were plucked from El Dorado and transplanted into the crazy world of Tarantino. He's the punch first, ask questions later type of field leader who speaks in a gravelly drawl that sounds like he's been gargling battery acid. His Basterds are sent to do "terrible things to the German", and for one glorious scene we actually get to see them do it. Pity we don't actually see them do a helluva lot else.

The Basterds become embroiled in a parallel plan to kill the entire Nazi heirarchy at the premier. The plan involves...well, a lot of talking and plotting. If this were written by anybody else I'd be screaming about how dull it was. But Tarantino is nothing if not a master of the written language. He's got the undeniable gift for movie dialogue, and every word pops and is as exciting as the adrenaline fueled final chapter. There are a wealth of characters here that on their own I would be interested in seeing followed up, not the least of which is Til Schweiger's Hugo Stiglitz, a nearly silent German psycho who joins the Basterds so he can kill other Germans. For the most part, only a handful of Basterds play any sort of role in the story, but I'm assuming that will be rectified if and when Tarantino's proposed prequel sees the light of day. Blink and you might miss a brief appearance by Paul Rust, the star of Punch Drunk Critics' fave Sex Drive as one of the under utilized Basterds.

One of the biggest strengths of any Tarantino film is that he always gets the most out of his actors, particularly when using actors who some would categorize as B-level or unproven. With so many characters involved it becomes imperative that every character be highlighted for the brief amount of screentime they might receive. Eli Roth's Donnie Donowitz is probably the Basterd who stands out the most. Roth, who's made a career off producing low budget horror porn flicks like both Hostel films and Cabin Fever, has a look that would fit in perfectly with most police line-ups. To put it simply he looks like a psychopath, and his character nicknamed "The Bear Jew" is a hulking, obnoxious head cracker who wields a baseball bat. He's also sorta Aldo's right hand man, which is sorta like hiring John Spartan to be your strategist. Not all of the characters work, however. Mike Meyers shows up in a brief cameo as a high ranking British official, and he sticks out like a handful of sore thumbs. He can't not sound like he's imitating somebody, even when he's clearly not trying to. Thankfully he's not there long.

My biggest problem with Basterds perhaps has more to do with my own expectations than anything else. I expected a Dirty Dozen/Magnificent Seven type story I guess. I was looking for a bit more comraderie amongst the Basterds, and seeing a story where they actually had to overcome some overwhelming odds to accomplish their mission. That's not the story we were given, and while the story we got was engrossing I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. Disappointment is something I've never felt about any Tarantino film up to this point. That's not to say I haven't liked all of his films, but the only I have any particular disdain for is Jackie Brown, but I wasn't expecting much from that one anyway.

With Basterds, I still feel like this is lesser-Tarantino. Now let me frame that by saying that "lesser Tarantino" is better than 90% of what anybody else is producing. I like this film a helluva lot. It's fun, huge, and sprawling full of bigger than life characters that I would pay good money to see again and again. But was I as into it the way I was Kill Bill? No. Or Death Proof? No. Or even Pulp Fiction? Ok, it's definitely better than Pulp Fiction. Basterds atleast has some sort of point to it, which is to create a screwball world of revisionist history. Tarantino's convinced me that history needs a good make-over. Sign me up for another tour.

7/10

1st Look at Natalie Portman in Your Highness

David Gordon Green is certainly taking his career in a different direction. After becoming known as an indie auteur with films like George Washington and All the Real Girls(a great film I might add), he threw his hat in the comedy ring last year with the stoner comedy, Pineapple Express. Now he's back at it again with Your Higness, a stoner comedy set in the time of Arthurian legend. Yeah. The film stars Danny McBride and James Franco as a pair of lazy princes who must go on an epic quest to save the kingdom. Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman play the love interests. The above shot is the first actual look at how the product is faring so far, with what appears to be Portman staring out at a brutal joust going on in the background. News on this film has been relatively scarce, but I imagine with this first photo that's about to change.

A Return to Hell? McFarlane Begins Work on new Spawn Film!

Back in 1997, comic book icon/hockey enthusiastic/part-time douche Todd McFarlane joined up with New Line Cinema to produce a big screen version of his once popular Spawn comic book. Spawn was the story of a solder who is murdered, but is recruited by by the devil to become an agent of Hell. The film starred Michael Jai White, and was pretty successful, grossing an estimated $87M. But it should've been more successful, however the studio crapped the bed on the rating, giving it a weak PG-13 which neutered the film's strength and appealed to pretty much nobody.

Now 12 years later, Spawn is experiencing something of a resurgence in popularity, and McFarlane is finally read to do the Hellspawn's story right, according to comingsoon.net. He says...

"The story has been in my head for 7 or 8 years," McFarlane said. "The movie idea is neither a recap or continuation. It is a standalone story that will be R-rated. Creepy and scary."

He then goes on to add that the film will be for adult audiences.."like The Departed". The Departed? That's an odd film to compare it to, but whatever. I've been hoping that McFarlane would get around to doing another Spawn that was more in line with the graphic nature of the comic. The HBO cartoon from a few years ago captured the mood and the gorey aspects perfectly, so I know it can be done. This is a project I will definitely be keeping an eye on.

Top Shelf at the Box Office! 8/24/09

1. Inglourious Basterds- $37.6M

My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I you each owe me 37 million American scalps. And I want my scalps! Hard to believe that Basterds opening is the highest grossing in Quentin Tarantino's storied career, but it kicks the ass of his previous high earner, Kill Bill vol. 2. Business was boomin' overseas as well, hauling in an additional $27.5M. The reason why this movie was such a success compared to others? Easy to follow marketing campaign. It's Quentin Tarantino Does War Film. That alone is enough to put butts in seats. The question now is how well does it hold up? Competition this week is genre-specific with Halloween 2 and The Final Destination the only real contenders.

2. District 9- $18.9M/$73.5M

The Prawns are pleased. Last week's champeen only fell 49% from last week, a number that is way below the norm. This implies strong word of mouth and firm staying power for the Peter Jackson sci-fi film. At this point District 9 has more than doubled it's production cost, making it easily one of the top 3 most successful films of the year.

3. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra- $12.5M/$121M

Hard to gauge whether or not GI Joe is a rousing success. Certainly it's $222M worldwide take is no small potatoes, but it's budget including marketing was astronimcal. This week it fell only 44% which is much better than estimates, and the film seems to have good traction overall. It might have something to do with this..



That's just a hunch.

4. The Time Traveler's Wife- $10M/$37.4M

5. Julie & Julia- $9M/$59.3M

As expected, the story of Julia Child and the boring chick she inspired is proving to have quite the pleasant aftertaste with moviegoers. I'd be curious to see if restaurants located near or connected to movie theaters saw a spike in business since this movie came out. Lord knows I practically leapt out of my seat to stuff my face after sittin' through two hours of chocolate cakes and braised lamb and...crap, made myself hungry again.

6. Shorts- $6.6M

I commend you, Robert Rodriguez. You're one of my favorite directors, and the fact that you diversify your work with kiddie stuff like this and Spy Kids is a testament to your ability. Too bad nobody cares. Should've cut your losses with Sharkboy and Lava Girl, homie.

7. G Force- $4.21M/$107M

That's just...regrettable. That's a disturbing total. Public Enemies struggles to break $100M, but a movie about glorified rats? Not a problem at all.

8. Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince- $3.52M/$290M

Still trying to figure out what a half blood prince is.

9. The Ugly Truth- $2.85M/$82.9M

Ok, all you people who shelled out good money to see this mess because Gerard Butler was in it? I hope you'll do the same thing for Gamer in a couple weeks. Otherwise...you and I might have some issues to iron out.

10. Post Grad- $2.8M

I could probably sit and watch Alexis Bledel read through the damn phone book she's so cute. In fact, they should've made this movie nothing but her reading through the phone book. I'd have paid to see that long before I'd pay to see this crap, which looks like it fell off the back of the ABC Family delivery truck. No thank you. I can't believe this knocked (500) Days of Summer out of the Top 10. Shameful.

The highest per site average of the week went to the Renee Zellwegger 1950's screwball comedy, My One and Only. At only 4 locations, it brought in an estimated $60,700. Not too shabby.

Spread

Those of us with ungodly good looks have it tough, y'know? You think it's easy being so damn beautiful? You have no idea what it's like, always having people at your beck and call. The looks of disdain we get as we cut to the front of the line at the hottest joints in town. I'll admit that the free food we can get at any establishment with just a subtle touch or a disarming smile to our wait tress is a plus, but the disappointment on their faces as we skip out without so much as a "seeya later" is a real burden. It's time someone told our story, and so I was hoping Ashton Kutcher's Spread would be our coming out party, so to speak.

Nikki is a man not unlike myself or those of my peers. He's young, gorgeous, and willing to do anything and anybody to maintain a certain level of lifestyle. Living in LA, he finds himself surrounded by the social elite, and he blends in seamlessly amongst them. Nikki isn't bothered by common complications like jobs and...homes. Who needs to work when you can just bang some rich broad and she'll pay for everything? Who needs a home when you sleep at a different place every night? Nikki's latest conquest is Samantha, played by the sexiest Anne Heche since...well, ever. I'd do her. Samantha hooks homie up, too. She gives him everything, money, influence, a spread the size of Rhode Island. Sweet deal. Then he effs it up and so does the movie. Doesn't he know if you're gonna get some head you do it someplace else? Never bring your dirt back home, y'know?

Maybe they switched writers halfway through this piece of crap or somethin', but I found the second part of this film to be a personal insult and a slap in the face. What's all this moralizing b.s., anyway? Nikki falls in love with some waitress chick? And this magically changes him into a better man? Is that what this is telling me? If true love is as boring as it is here then I'll gladly pass. The relationship is completely unbelievable. There's no reason given for him to fall for her, and Nikki is smart enough not to ever reveal anything about himself either. Seriously, it's about as real as my ex-girlfriend's knockers.

Just spare me all this moralizing nonsense, ok? This would've been a better movie without trying to impart some grand lesson. It doesn't fit with the story at all. This should've been about a hip, smart, predatory sexual animal who conquers all and leaves a trail of women in his wake. Doesn't that sound like a more enjoyable, believable tale? I'll give it up to my idol, Ashton Kutcher, for taking on a role that must hit pretty close to home for him. Dude is shacked up with that old cougar Demi Moore right now, and then he goes and basically makes a movie all about how he's scammin' on her? That's balls, man! And this joint is graphic! They don't shy away from showin' Kutcher layin' the wood to all types of broads. I dig your style. I just don't dig this movie. Would've been better if they put me in it.

5/10

Bourne Unmasks New Writer

I had been hoping that they would end the Bourne series after Ultimatum, going out on a high note and establishing itself as one of the best trilogies in movie history. Guess that's all shot to hell now. Universal has pegged Josh Zetumer to write a script for the 4th Bourne film, likely to be titled The Bourne Legacy. In a somewhat unusual move, this is not the only script written for this film. A previous script has already been written by veteran Bourne scribe George Nolfi, but he had to remove himself from the project to tackle something else. But is Universal doing away with his ideas? Nah. What they'll likely do is combine elements from both scripts to make one...I dunno, super script.

For those that don't know, Bourne creator Robert Ludlum's last official Bourne book was Ultimatum. There have been four more books written by Eric Van Lustbader(that's gotta be an alias. Dude sounds like a Russian count.) Presumably, the next films will follow those storylines, but trust me when I tell you the source material isn't half as good. The Bourne films have been some of the best spy/conspiracy films in a long time, and I really don't want to see them fall off now. I guess as long as they keep top notch directors like Doug Liman and Paul Greengrass they'll never truly suck, but I can't help but worry anyway.

Bryan Singer Signs on to Excalibur Remake!

What the hell's with Bryan Singer, anyway? He's friggin' everywhere. First it's Wolverine. Then it's X-men: First Class. Then he's on board for a Battlestar Galactica remake. Now as if that wasn't enough, he's signed a deal with Warner Bros. to produce and possibly direct a remake of the 1981 classic, Excalibur. Excalibur was another in a long line of Knights of the Round Table adaptations, only this one featured the star studded cast of Helen Mirren, Liam Neeson, and Patrick Stewart, and pretty much every Brit actor you can think of.

No writer has been attatched as of yet, and no word on casting. With all these movies Singer's got swirling around I'm starting to wonder if he's actually going to direct any of them, or if he's just putting all his producer chips on the table. I think the only movie we can say for damn sure he won't be a part of is anything involving Superman.

Variety has more on the story here.

DC Anime Club to Show Death Note II: The Last Name

If you weren’t able to check out “Death Note II: The Last Name,” then the DC Anime Club is hosting an event to see it tonight. This is one of my favorite anime series ever. It is about a boy who finds a notebook that gives him the ability to kill someone if he writes his/her name in it. It wasn’t as good as the first movie, but it was not bad for the time that it had. Here is a review that I wrote that will give you a little bit more understanding of the movie.

It is even better when you have not watched the anime series because it’s more interesting on its own.

Here is the information:

Time: August 28, 2009 from 6:30pm to 9pm
Location: Japan Information and Culture Center Lafayette Center III
Street: 1155 21st Street, NW
City/Town: Washington,DC
Website or Map: http://www.dcanimeclub.org
Phone: 202 262 2083
Event Type: movie, screening.
Organized By: Christopher Wanamaker
Latest Activity: May 12

The List for 8/21/09!

It's 20 minutes til Inglourious Basterds starts. It's about 5 minutes to the movie theatre from my crib. I'm starting a blog about what movies I'm gonna see this week. Even as I type these words I can't decide whether to throw whatever clothes are hanging off the back of my chair and run out the door or sit here, finish typing, and fall asleep to the soothing sounds of Jordan Palmer throwing a lame duck pass to some fifth-string wideout who'll probably be buttering my popcorn next week. These are the tough daily decisions I have to struggle through. Pity me.

It's actually a really quiet week for movies since nothing wants to compete with Tarantino. It's not like the guy's a box office juggernaut, but whatever. They're doing me a favor. I got some catchin' up to do.



Tarantino describes Inglourious Basterds as a "spaghetti Western with WWII iconography". I don't care. I love spaghetti Westerns as much as the next guy and I'm a sucker for a good war flick, but this shit just looks like fun. I might suffer a few nightmares over Eli Roth's demonic smirk as he bashes Nazi heads in with a baseball bat, but that's what I've got my Spider-Man nightlight for.

Random thought: I have a sickening feeling that the Patriots are gonna match or exceed what they did in 2007. And Lawrence Maroney looks slower than molasses in winter.



If you need proof of just how slim the pickings are this week, you need look no further than the above graphic. Captain Abu Raed is a Jordanian film about a janitor who finds an abandoned pilot's outfit, and then proceeds to fool people into thinking that's his profession. Don't get me wrong, the trailer for this looks good and i genuinely want to see it. But on a typical week it'd be somewhere near the bottom of my list. It's the first film to be produced in Jordan in nearly 50 years, and kicked a ton of ass at Sundance, so maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. If you're interested, the Captain's flight plan only runs through Landmark E Street in the DC/Metro area.

What Else is Out There?



I caught Cold Souls on Monday, but I've got a Meetup on Sunday to see it with the gang. Think of it as a poor man's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you could sell your soul to relieve your stress, would you do it? In the world of Cold Souls, selling your soul is the new hip thing to do. You can even buy someone else's soul. I know if could buy somebody else's soul it'd be a pretty God damn easy pick to make: Arn Anderson.

Random thought: Big Brother After Dark should do us all a favor and cancel itself once the house dwindles down to less than 6 players. Right now they are watching someone sleep. It's boring as hell. Back to football.

Holdovers from last week include the Rose Byrne starring romantic comedy, Adam. And there's a possibility I'll be seeing The Time Traveler's Wife with the Meetup crew on Saturday. But I'm worried about cramming so much girlie schmaltz in at one time. I might need to water it down with a side order of G.I. Joe to cleanse the palette.

The god of DC Comics Takes on SHAZAM!!!

Geoff Johns, undisputed lord of the word balloon and driving force behind basically the entire DC Comics universe, has been offically named as co-writer on a big screen version of Shazam! Along for the ride as co-writer is former actor Billy Birch, who's name sounds a bit like the main character of Shazam, Billy Batson.

Shazam features one of the most recognizable yet under used superheroes in comics, Captain Marvel. When teenager Billy Batson utters the word "SHAZAM!!" he is immediately transformed in Captain Marvel, who combines the attributes of six powerful gods. SHAZAM is an acronym for the beings he takes his powers from(Solomon, Hercules, Ares, Zeus, Achilles, & Mercury).

Johns, who only last month was named as one of the three DC Comics writers who will be assisting in the development of all future big screen adaptations, is also working on a film centered around Justice League stalwart, The Flash.

No news on who will play Captain Marvel as of yet. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson had once been rumored for the role, but that is still somewhat up in the air.

The Hollywood Reporter has more on the story here.

The Punch Drunk Podcast Episode #30: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard; District 9

The Punch Drunk Podcast turns the big 3-0! To celebrate, John and Trav promise to bring you a more mature, adult oriented movie show with no more detours into silly childish things like comic books and action figures.

Right.

On this week's show...

Cash for Clunkers was a phenomenal success, but how does Jeremy Piven's used car comedy The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard stack up?

Trav proves again that he has no life outside of movies anymore as he brings you short reviews of Thirst, Julie & Julia, and Cold Souls!

Somehow Snake Eyes and the big lipped chick from the Mos Eisley cantina band are mentioned in the same sentence...

News on Blade 4; Scarlett Johansson possibly joining the cast of The Avengers; and John raves about F. Gary Gray's Law Abiding Citizens!

With District 9 blowin' up the box office this week, has Peter Jackson set a new standard for the sci-fi genre? Can James Cameron's Avatar possibly top it? John and Trav take a look at the film that's takin' the country by storm.

The film world just got a helluva lot geekier, and the Punch Drunk Critics are here to guide you through it. We hope you'll join us for another fun hour(or so) of The Punch Drunk Podcast. You can subscribe to us directly by clicking here, or you can also find us on Itunes. Send your questions and comments to punchdrunkcritics@yahoo.com and we might read them on the air...as long as it's not too hard.

Idris Elba Watches Car go Boom!

That Idris Elba's a Twittering fool. Doesn't seem like the type, does he? I mean we're used to seeing him all cool and shit on The Wire or mackin' on two broads in Obsessed, but really he's a geek like everybody else. Recently while on the set of The Losers, he tweeted:

"My Sunday sees me watching a car get blown 25 feet into the air ... Not the norm."

Apparently this is what he meant...




I'm liking the look of this more and more each day.

New Trailer for THE WOLFMAN!

What the hell's going on today? First the Avatar trailer drops, and now out of thin air we get a brand new theatrical trailer for Benicio Del Toro's The Wolfman! This might actually be my favorite of the two we've seen today. The smartest thing about it? We never get a clear glimpse of the Wolfman. Anyway, check it out and let us know what you think.

The Wolfman is scheduled to be released from it's cage on February 12, 2010!

'Fourth Kind' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

New Avatar Stills Released! UPDATE: Trailer Link!!!!

PDC UPDATE: The teaser trailer has gone live! Check it out after drooling over the cool set pics!


At the rate this is going, I feel like I've already seen enough shots of this movie that I don't need to attend the special trailer event tomorrow night. Ofcourse I'll still be there standing in line with the rest of the geeks, but there's little doubt that publicity for James Cameron's Avatar has been coming fast and furious all week. Don't expect it to let up any time soon, either. Now, courtesy of Aint It Cool News come a series of just released still shots from the sci-fi epic. Most of which I found to be pretty uneventful, so I'm only gonna post the ones that caught my eye.

Video Review: District 9

Here's my official review for the new Sci-fi thriller 'District 9'. Forgive the glitches I was going for one take :) Make sure to leave me some comments so I can bring you what you want in the future.

So Who Will Willis and Schwarzenegger Play in The Expendables?

Slash Film has a bit of spoilery goodness about who Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger will be playing in the greatest film of all-time yet to be released, Sylvester Stallone's upcoming The Expendables. By now if you've been following the site you can probably run down the amazing cast list in your sleep, but we never really had an idea of who the two biggest names would be in their cameos. Until now.

Bruce will play Mr Church, the man who hires the Expendables, a highly-trained team of deadly combat mercenaries, to go on a mission to South America to overthrow and execute a villainous dictator. Interestingly enough, the role of Church was originally offered to Schwarzenegger, who declined in favor of a smaller cameo part due to political concerns. Schwarzenegger will now play a retired Lieutenant General of the Expendables.

Can you imagine Willis, the Governator, and Sly together on set. Imagine if they were in the same trailer. You think it'd just spontaneously combust from all that testerone? I wonder if they'll arm wrestle. Or compare scars. Or measure each other's...

Dirty Dancing Remake in the Works

Nobody puts Lionsgate in the corner!! As if the horror that was 2004's Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights wasn't enough, a mere 5 years later and we're being treated to a full fledged remake of the original 1987 pseudo classic courtesy of Lionsgate. According to a tweet from someone at Production Weekly, the new film will be written by Julia Dahl. A quick scan of her resume shows that she wrote the abysmal Uptown Girls and various episodes of Party of Five, proving that she can write bland uninteresting malnourished women with the best of 'em. This looks to be a disaster, but then I was no fan of the original in case you couldn't tell!

Mr. Demille, ScarJo's Ready for her Spin-Off

Iron Man 2 is still nearly a year away, and already Scarlett Johansson is ready to reprise her role as the sexy Russian superspy, The Black Widow. Frankly, any chance to see her rock the skintights is ok by me. In her interview with Ireland Online, the beauty had a ton to say not just about a return to Iron Man, but also hinted at the possibility of a spinoff. She says:


“She has many different incarnations and different storylines so I'm hoping she will be able to continue in that way. I'm hoping that if the fans like the character and support the character, we'll see her again."

But that's not the kicker. The chances of the Widow showing up as part of upcoming Avengers film? Pretty darn good if Scarlett's got anything to say about it...

“I hope I get to come back and do it again. The character certainly comes back. We see that she does in the comics and certainly she is a big part of The Avengers. I don't know if that is where it's going to go but she is definitely a big part of The Avengers.”

The only part of this that comes as a surprise to me is the possibility of a Black Widow spinoff. I don't see the market there for the character to ever be more than a mid-level box office success, if that. I don't care how tight her gear is. But I've always suspected they would find a way to make Natasha Romanov part of the Avengers film, simply because it makes sense. The Black Widow is a former leader of the team and on of it's most important members. I know that the Avengers is already officially on Marvel's docket, but there's this little nagging part of me that thinks there's just too much potential starpower on this project for it to ever get off the ground. Maybe I'm nervous over how awesome it could possibly be if all the pieces fell in place? I don't know. All I know is that I really REALLY want to see a Deadpool/Black Widow buddy flick featuring the two real life lovebirds takin' down HYDRA or even better, The Hand! Now that would be an awesome flick.

Julie & Julia

Some of my fondest memories growing up as a kid were of lazy Sunday morning which stretched into lazy Sunday afternoons at my grandparents' house, watching cooking shows like the Frugal Gourmet, Yan Can Cook, and ofcourse any number of Julia Child's various programs. It wasn't until I got older that I realized what a true force she was not just as a chef and tv personality, but as a trailblazer for women all around the world. To me then she was just that gargantuan lady with the mop of a hairdo and a voice that reminded me of Beaker from the Muppet Show. Julie & Julia is based on two novels: Julia Child's My Life in France and Julie Powell's Julie & Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen .

Amy Adams plays Julie Powell, a downtrodden Manhattan woman who works as an operator taking phone calls from people complaining about the construction taking place post 9/11. She's one of those women who thought she had everything in life figured out, but something derailed her and now she's lost in a dead end job in a town she wants no part of. In a desperate bid to find her own niche, she decided to create a blog detailing her attempts to cook every recipe in Julia Child's book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

If only they could've left that entire part of the story out. The far more interesting half of the film, because essentially this is two movies, belongs to Julia Child. Child, a whirlwind of a woman with an energy that lights up every room, moved to Paris with her diplomat husband, Paul, in the 1940s. Their relationship is the most interesting part of the film. On first glance, they appear to be such an odd pairing. Paul's a little stiff at first, but as played by the marvelous Stanley Tucci a rapier wit lies just underneath. The two are actually two peas in a pod, both avid foodies and lovers of Parisian culture. Child, a towering woman at 6'2", didn't start out as a master chef, and we follow her from the very beginning. Realizing the one thing she truly loves to do is eat, she enrolls in an advanced cooking course as the only female, quickly outpacing her more experienced male competition. We also get a look at what it must've been like for a woman like her, trying to make it in a very male dominated field. And while these scenes are often hilarious, there's a deeper angle that involves her and Paul's globe-trotting lifestyle and how it crashes headfirst into the McCarthy investigations. If only more time could've been spent on this.

Writer Nora Ephron struggles to find some sort of common ground between Child and Powell other than the culinary one. The problem lies somewhere in the Powell half of the story, which strangely enough feels a bit forced. I love Amy Adams as much as anyone, and I think she brings her usual manic energy to this role that she always does. But I think that's the problem. Powell isn't interesting enough on her own to warrant so much attention. We know precious little about her other than that she envies her rich, snobby friends. Oh, and she has a loyal but boring husband.That's all. Her lack of real depth is only accented when she runs into her first real difficulty, and she lapses into a whining ranting fit that would put Lucille Ball to shame.

Is there anything left to say about Meryl Streep that hasn't already been said? If I told you she was "simply amazing" and that she "literally becomes Julia Child" would you be at all surprised? Playing a character as distinctive as Child would cause any lesser actress to fall into caricature, but with Streep it's hardly a hurdle. She and Stanley Tucci, who plays her husband Paul, blend perfectly together like Child's famous fish bouillabaisse. If only we had a complete meal to go with it.

6/10, worth a look just for the outstanding Julia Child half of the film